I Thirst For You

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock..." (Rev. 3:20)

It is true. I stand at the door of your heart, day and night. Even when you are not listening, even when you doubt it could be Me, I am there. I await even the smallest sign of your response, even the least whispered invitation that will allow Me to enter.

And I want you to know that whenever you invite Me, I do come always without fail. Silent and unseen I come, but with infinite power and love, and bringing the many gifts of My Spirit. I come with My mercy, with My desire to forgive and heal you, and with a love for you beyond your comprehension, a love every bit as great as the love I have received from the Father "As much as the Father has loved me, I have loved you." (Jn. 15:10). I come - longing to console you and give you strength, to lift you up and bind all your wounds. I bring you My light, to dispel your darkness and all your doubts. I come with My power, that I might carry you and all your burdens; with My grace, to touch your heart and transform your life; and My peace I give to still your soul.

I know you through and through - I know everything about you. The very hairs of your head I have numbered. Nothing in your life is unimportant to Me. I have followed you through the years, and I have always loved you - even in your wanderings. I know every one of of your problems. I know your needs and your worries. And yes, I know all your sins. But I tell you again that I love you not for what you have or haven't done - I love you for you, for the beauty and dignity My Father gave you by creating you in His own image. It is a dignity you have often forgotten, a beauty you have tarnished by sin. But I love you as you are, and I have shed My Blood to win you back. If you only ask Me with faith, My grace will touch all that needs changing in your life, and I will give you the strength to free yourself from sin and all its destructive power.

I know what is in your heart - I know your loneliness and all your hurts - the rejections, the judgments, the humiliations. I carried it all before you. And I carried it all for you, so you might share My strength and victory. I know especially your need for love - how you are thirsting to be loved and cherished. But how often have you thirsted in vain, by seeking that love selfishly, striving to fill the emptiness inside with you passing pleasures - with the even greater emptiness of sin. Do you thirst for love? "Come to Me all you who thirst..." (Jn 7:37). I will satisfy you and fill you. Do you thirst to be cherished? I cherish you more than you can imagine - to the point of dying on a cross for you.

I THIRST FOR YOU. Yes, that is the only way to even begin to describe My love for you: I THIRST FOR YOU. I thirst to love you and be loved by you - that is how precious you are to Me. I THIRST FOR YOU. Come to Me, and I will fill your heart and heal your wounds. I will make you a new creation, and give you peace, even in all your trials. I THIRST FOR YOU. You must never doubt My mercy, My acceptance of you, My desire to forgive, My longing to bless you and live My life in you. I THIRST FOR YOU. If you feel unimportant in the eyes of the world, that matters not at all. For Me, there is no one more important in the entire world than you. I THIRST FOR YOU. Open to Me, come to Me, thirst for Me, give me your life - and I will prove to you how important you are to My heart.

Don't you realize that My Father already has a perfect plan to transform your life, beginning from this moment? Trust in Me. Ask Me every day to enter and take charge of your life - and I will. I promise you before My Father in heaven that I will work miracles in your life. Why should I do this? Because I THIRST FOR YOU. All I ask of you is that you entrust yourself to Me completely. I will do all the rest.

Even now I behold the place My Father has prepared for you in My Kingdom. Remember that you are a pilgrim in this life, on a journey home. Sin can never satisfy you, or bring the peace you seek. All that you have sought outside of Me has only left you more empty, so do not cling to the things of this life. Above all, do not run from Me when you fall. Come to Me without delay. When you give Me your sins, you give Me the joy of being your Savior. There is nothing I cannot forgive and heal, so come now and unburden your soul.

No matter how far you may wander, no matter how often you forget Me, no matter how many crosses you may bear in this life, there is one thing I want you to always remember, one thing that will never change: I THIRST FOR YOU - just as you are. You don't need to change to believe in My love, for it will be your belief in My love that will change you. You forget Me, and yet I am seeking you every moment of the day - standing at the door of your heart, and knocking. Do you find this hard to believe? Then look at the cross, look at My Heart that was pierced for you. Have you not understood My cross? Then listen again to the words I spoke there - for they tell you clearly why I endured all this for you: "I THIRST..." (Jn. 19:28)

Yes, I thirst for you - as the rest of the psalm - verse I was praying says of Me: "I looked for love, and I found none..."(Ps. 69:20). All your life I have been looking for your love - I have never stopped seeking to love you and be loved by you. You have tried many other things in your search for happiness; why not try opening your heart to Me, right now, more than you ever have before.

Whenever you do open the door of your heart, whenever you come close enough, you will hear Me say to you again and again, not in mere human words but in spirit: "No matter what you have done, I love you for your own sake. Come to Me with your misery and your sins, with your troubles and needs, and with all your longing to be loved I stand at the door of your heart and knock... Open to Me, for I THIRST FOR YOU..."


(Meditation based on St. Teresa of Calcutta's spirituality and message. For more info visit their website at www.mcpriests.com.)


"Jesus is God, therefore His love, His thirst, is infinite. He the Creator of the universe, asked for the love of His creatures. He thirsts for our love... These words: "I thirst'- do they echo in our souls?". - St. Teresa of Calcutta

On The Value of Time

New year, new beginnings. This is the perfect opportunity to reassess our lives, set personal goals, and work on achieving them, but only if we resolve from hereon to use our most precious resource well - our TIME. I chose this article by St. Alphonsus Liguori because during his life he made a vow never to waste a moment of his time. It is my prayer this new year that you and I will invest our time in meaningful and productive ways. Let us also keep in mind that time is a talent loaned to us that we have to give an account of before God when our time is up so let us endeavor to use them well.

On the Value of Time

by St. Alphonsus Liguori

"A little while, and now you shall not see me."--JOHN xvi. 16.

There is nothing shorter than time, but there is nothing more valuable. There is nothing shorter than time; because the past is no more, the future is uncertain, and the present is but a moment. This is what Jesus Christ meant when he said: "A little while, and now you shall not see me." We may say the same of our life, which, according to St. James is but a vapour, which is soon scattered forever. "For what is your life? It is a vapour which appeareth for a little while." (James iv. 14.) But the time of this life is as precious as it is short; for, in every moment, if we spend it well, we can acquire treasures of merits for heaven; but, if we employ time badly, we may in each moment commit sin, and merit hell. I mean this day to show you how precious is every moment of the time which God gives us, not to lose it, and much less to commit sin, but to perform good works and to save our souls.

1. " Thus saith the Lord: In an acceptable time I have heard thee, and in the day of salvation I have helped thee." (Isa. xlix. 8.) St. Paul explains this passage, and says, that the acceptable time is the time in which God has determined to confer His favours upon us. He then adds: "Behold, now is the acceptable time; behold, now is the day of salvation." (2 Cor. vi. 2.) The Apostle exhorts us not to spend unprofitably the present time, which he calls the day of salvation; because, perhaps, after this day of salvation, there shall be no salvation for us. "The time," says the same Apostle, "is short; it remaineth that . . . . they that weep be as though they wept not; that they that rejoice, as if they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; and they that use this world, as if they used it not." (1 Cor. vii. 29, 30, 31.)

Since, then, the time which we have to remain on this earth is short, the Apostle tells those who weep, that they ought not to weep, because their sorrows shall soon pass away; and those who rejoice, not to fix their affections on their enjoyments, because they shall soon have an end. Hence he concludes, that we should use this world, not to enjoy its transitory goods, but to merit eternal life.


2. " Son," says the Holy Ghost, "observe the time." (Eccl. iv. 23.) Son, learn to preserve time, which is the most precious and the greatest gift that God can bestow upon you. St. Bernardino of Sienna teaches that time is of as much value as God; because in every moment of time well spent the possession of God is merited. He adds that in every instant of this life a man may obtain the pardon of his sins, the grace of God, and the glory of Paradise. " Modico tempore potest homo lucrari gratiam et gloriam." Hence St. Bonaventure says that "no loss is of greater moment than the loss of time." (Ser. xxxvii. in Sept.)


3. But, in another place, St. Bernardino says that, though there is nothing more precious than time, there is nothing less valuable in the estimation of men. " Nil pretiosius tempore, nil vilius reputatur." (Ser. ii. ad Schol.) You will see some persons spending four or five hours in play. If you ask them why they lose so much time, they answer: To amuse ourselves. Others remain half the day standing in the street, or looking out from a window. If you ask them what they are doing, they shall say in reply, that they are passing the time. And why says the same saint, do you lose this time? Why should you lose even a single hour, which the mercy of God gives you to weep for your sins, and to acquire the divine grace? "Donec hora pertranseat, quam tibi ad agendam poenitentiam, ad acquirendam gratiam, miseratio conditoris indulserit."


4. O time, despised by men during life, how much shall you be desired at the hour of death, and particularly in the other world! Time is a blessing which we enjoy only in this life; it is not enjoyed in the next; it is not found in heaven nor in hell. In hell, the damned exclaim with tears: "Oh! that an hour were given to us." They would pay any price for an hour or for a minute, in which they might repair their eternal ruin. But this hour or minute they never shall have. In heaven there is no weeping; but, were the saints capable of sorrow, all their wailing should arise from the thought of having lost in this life the time in which they could have acquired greater glory, and from the conviction that this time shall never more be given to them. A deceased Benedictine nun appeared in glory to a certain person, and said that she was in heaven, and in the enjoyment of perfect happiness; but that, if she could desire anything, it would be to return to life, and to suffer affliction, in order to merit an increase of glory. And she added that, to acquire the glory which corresponded to a single Ave Maria, she would be content to suffer till the day of judgment the long and painful sickness which brought on her death. Hence, St. Francis Borgia was careful to employ every moment of his time for God. When others spoke of useless things; he conversed with God by holy affections; and so recollected was he that, when asked his opinion on the subject of conversation, he knew not what answer to make. Being corrected for this, he said: I am content to be considered stupid, rather than lose my time in vanities.


5. Some of you will say: "What evil am I doing?" Is it not, I ask, an evil to spend your time in plays, in conversations, and useless occupations, which are unprofitable to the soul? Does God give you this time to lose it? "Let not," says the Holy Ghost, "the part of a good gift overpass thee." (Eccl. xiv. 14.) The workmen of whom St. Matthew speaks did no evil; they only lost time by remaining idle in the streets. But they were rebuked by the father of the family, saying: "Why stand you here all the day idle?" (Matt. xx. 6.) On the day of judgment Jesus Christ shall demand an account, not only of every month and day that has been lost, but even of every idle word. "Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall render an account for it on the day of judgment." (Matt. xii. 36.) He shall likewise demand an account of every moment of the time which you shall lose. According to St. Bernard, all time which is not spent for God is lost time. "Omne tempus quo de Deo non cogitasti, cogita te perdisse." (Coll. 1, cap. viii.) Hence the Holy Ghost says: "Whatsoever thy hand is able to do, do it earnestly: for neither work nor reason . . . shall be in hell, whither thou art hastening." (Eccl. ix. 10.) What you can do today defer not till tomorrow; for on tomorrow you may be dead, and may be gone into another world, where you shall have no more time to do good, and where you shall only enjoy the reward of your virtues, or suffer the punishment due to your sins. "Today if you shall hear His voice, harden not your hearts." (Ps. xciv. 8.) God calls you to confess your sins, to restore ill-gotten goods, to be reconciled with your enemies. Obey his call today; for it may happen that on tomorrow time may be no more for you, or that God will call you no more. All our salvation depends on corresponding with the divine calls, and at the time that God calls us.


6. But some of you will perhaps say: I am young; after some time I will give myself to God. But, remember that the gospel tells us, that Jesus Christ cursed the fig tree which He found without fruit, although the season for figs had not yet arrived. "It was not the time for figs." (Mark xi. 13.) By this the Saviour wished to signify, that man at all times, even in youth, should produce fruits of good works; and that otherwise, like the fig tree, he shall be cursed, and shall produce no fruit for the future. "May no man hereafter eat any more fruit of thee for ever." (Ibid., v. 14.) " Delay not to be converted to the Lord, and defer it not from day to day; for His wrath shall come on a sudden." (Eccl. v. 8, 9.) If you find your soul in the state of sin, delay not your repentance nor your confession; do not put them off even till tomorrow; for, if you do not obey the voice of God calling you today to confess your sins, death may this day overtake you in sin, and tomorrow there may be no hope of salvation for you. The devil regards the whole of our life as very short, and therefore he loses not a moment of time, but tempts us day and night. "The devil is come down unto you having great wrath, knowing that he hath but a short time." (Apoc. xii. 12.) The enemy, then, never loses time in seeking to bring us to hell: and shall we squander the time which God has given us to save our souls?


7. You say: "I will hereafter give myself to God." But "why," answers St. Bernard, "do you, a miserable, sinner, presume on the future, as if the Father placed time in your power?" (Serm. xxxviii., de Part., etc.) Why do you presume that you will hereafter give yourself to God, as if He had given to you the time and opportunity of returning to Him whenever you wish? Job said with trembling, that he knew not whether another moment of his life remained: "For I know not how long I shall continue, and whether after a while my Maker may take me away." (xxxii. 22.) And you say: I will not go to confession today; I will think of it tomorrow. "Diem tenes," says St. Augustine, "qui horam non tenes." How can you promise yourself another day, when you know not whether you shall live another hour? "If," says St. Teresa, "'you are not prepared to die today,' tremble, lest you die an unhappy death."


8. St. Bernardine weeps over the blindness of those negligent Christians who squander the days of salvation, and never consider that a day once lost shall never return. "Trauseunt dies, salutis et nemo recogitat sibi perire diem ut nunquam rediturum." (Serm, ad Scholar.) At the hour of death they shall wish for another year, or for another day; but they shall not have it: they shall then be told that "time shall be no more." What price would they not then give for another week, for a day, or even for an hour, to prepare the account which they must then render to God? St. Lawrence Justinian says, that for a single hour they would give all their property, all their honours, and all their delights. "Erogaret opes, honores delicias, pro una horula." (Vit. Solit, cap. x.) But this hour shall not be granted to them. The priest who attends them shall say: Depart, depart immediately from this earth; for your time is no more. " Go forth, Christian soul, from this world."


9. What will it profit the sinner who has led an irregular life, to exclaim at death: O! that I had led a life of sanctity! O! that I had spent my years in loving God! How great is the anguish of a traveller, who, when the night has fallen, perceives that he has missed the way, and that there is no more time to correct his mistake! Such shall be the anguish at death of those who have lived many years in the world, but have not spent them for God. "The night cometh when no man can work." (John ix. 4.) Hence the Redeemer says to all: "Walk whilst you have light, that the darkness overtake you not." (John xii. 35.) Walk in the way of salvation, now that you have the light, before you are surprised by the darkness of death, in which you can do nothing. You can then only weep over the time which you have lost.


10. He hath called against me the time." (Thren. i. 15.) At the hour of death, conscience will remind us of all the time which we have had to become saints, and which we have employed in multiplying our debts to God. It will remind us of all the calls and of all the graces which He has given us to make us love him, and which we have abused. At that awful moment we shall also see that the way of salvation is closed for ever. In the midst of these remorses, and of the torturing darkness of death, the dying sinner shall say: O fool that I have been! O life misspent! O lost years, in which I could have gained treasures of merits, and have become a saint! but I have neglected both, and now the time of saving my soul is gone for ever. But of what use shall these wailings and lamentations be, when the scene of this world is about to close, the lamp is on the point of being extinguished, and when the dying Christian has arrived at that great moment on which eternity depends?


11. " Be you then also ready; for, at what hour you think not, the Son of Man will come." (Luke xii. 40.) The Lord says: "Be prepared." He does not tell us to prepare ourselves when death approaches, but to be ready for His coming; because when we think least of death, the Son of Man shall come and demand an account of our whole life. In the confusion of death, it will be most difficult to adjust our accounts, so as to appear guiltless before the tribunal of Jesus Christ. Perhaps death may not come upon us for twenty or thirty years; but it may also come very soon, perhaps in a year or in a month. If any one had reason to fear that a trial should take place, on which his life depended, he certainly would not wait for the day of the trial, but would as soon as possible employ an advocate to plead his cause. And what do we do? "We know for certain that we must one day be judged, and that on the result of that judgment our eternal, not our temporal, life depends. We also know that that day may be very near at hand; and still we lose our time, and, instead of adjusting our accounts, we go on daily multiplying the crimes which will merit for us the sentence of eternal death.


12. If, then, we have hitherto employed our time in offending God, let us henceforth endeavour to bewail our misfortune for the remainder of our life, and say continually with the penitent King Ezechias: "I will recount to thee all my years in the bitterness of my soul." (Isa. xxxviii. 15.) The Lord gives us the remaining days of life, that we may compensate the time that has been badly spent. "Whilst we have time, let us work good.'' (Gal. vi. 10.) Let us not provoke the Lord to punish us by an unhappy death; and if, during the years that are passed, we have been foolish, and have offended Him, let us now attend to the Apostle exhorting us to be wise for the future, and to redeem the time we have lost. "See, therefore, brethren, now you walk circumspectly, not as unwise, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil . . . understanding what is the will of God." (Eph. v. 15, 16, 17.) "The days are evil." According to St. Anselm, the meaning of these words is, that the days of this life are evil, because in them we are exposed to a thousand temptations and dangers of eternal misery; and therefore, to escape perdition, all possible care is necessary. "What," says St. Augustine, "is meant by redeeming the time, unless, when necessary, to submit to temporal loss in order to gain eternal goods?" (de horn. 50, horn, i.) We should live only to fulfil with all diligence the divine will; and, should it be necessary, it is better to suffer in temporal things, than to neglect our eternal interests. Oh! how well did St. Paul redeem the time which he had lost! St. Jerome says, that though the last of the apostles, he was, on account of his great labours, the first in merits. "Paul, the last in order, but the first in merits, because he laboured more than all." Let us consider that, in each moment, we may lay up greater treasures of eternal goods. If the possession of all the land round which you could walk, or of all the money which you could count in a day, were promised you, would you lose time? or would you not instantly begin to walk over the ground, or to reckon the money? You now have it in your power to acquire, in each moment, eternal treasures; and will you, notwithstanding, misspend your time. Do not say, that what you can do today you can also do tomorrow; because this day shall be then lost to you, and shall never return. You have this day; but perhaps tomorrow will not be given you.


(Source: http://catholicharboroffaithandmorals.com/)

How the Divine Mercy Helps Me in My Struggles with Same Sex Attraction

This is a two-part testimony of a fellow Courage brother a.k.a Joseph Anthony of the Sacred Heart on the power of the devotion to the Divine Mercy in his spiritual life. This Sunday, April 12, is the Feast of the Divine Mercy. Please take time to read about the great promise of our Lord on that day here. Take advantage of this feast. Jesus desires to enfold all sinners in His Great Mercy no matter how great our sins are. He only asks that we place our trust in Him completely. Let us all pray the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy often and perform deeds of mercy everywhere and at all times.

Part 1

In 2006, when I was 33 years old, I was fortunate to have been given a chance to travel to Rome. A tour of the Vatican City was of course included. During that time, St. John Paul II just recently passed away and my friends and I asked to see his tomb. It was at the basement of St. Peter’s Cathedral at that time and so we went. In front of his tomb, I did a typical Filipino custom of “bulong”, that is, mentioning a wish to a dead person to carry it with them to Heaven. My wish to St. John Paul II was for him to take away my homosexuality.

My job then required me to travel a lot. And aside from the business portion of the trips, I try to make it a point to have casual sexual encounters for every foreign destination I get to by going to bath houses, to cruising places or hooking up via the net. This trip to Rome included a trip to Amsterdam, one of the gay capitals of the world. Engaging on a homosexual encounter there would be a sure highlight. But somehow, I did not feel like having a homosexual encounter in this trip. It must have been the grace of the Church via the Vatican that was preventing me.

Fast forward to Dec 2013, when I was 40 years old. In a family reunion during the Christmas holidays, a cousin of mine gave me a prayer booklet on the Divine Mercy. She explains that she has been a recent devotee and would like to spread the devotion to the Divine Mercy. I found it interesting but I just left it in my car to pray it whenever I remember to. I never did.

On Jan 2014, I attended my annual retreat and during Spiritual Direction with the Priest Retreat Master, who I had as retreat master too a year prior and who already knew of my same sex attraction struggles from last year, suggested that maybe I need a support group for my struggles. It was he who introduced me to Courage. At first, I was surprised to find out that there actually is a support group and a Catholic one at that. So after the retreat, I set out to contact Courage and found out more about it through this blogspot. I sent an email and I got a reply after a few days. We exchanged our contact numbers via email and set up a meeting. Our first meet-up was on Valentine’s day, Feb 14. Picture that: two men with same sex attraction meeting up on a Starbucks on Valentine’s day! My old self would have called this a classic EB; but God has a way of renewing things.

Joining Courage made me realize in a substantial way that I am not alone with my struggles. I have a lot of gay friends but all of them seem to not be bothered with pursuing the homosexual lifestyle. I was well adjusted to my condition, i.e., I did not hate it, but an overwhelming feeling that I was not doing God’s will was ever pressing as I have always been prayerful and pious. Courage also increased in me the desire to pray more. The more I know about my condition, the more I realize that there is much more to be done, and the more graces I will need to call upon, so I pray some more. I decided to commit to one hour a week Blessed Sacrament Adoration as part of this deepening prayer life. I have attempted this so many times before but the one hour was just too much for me. This time, I decided to use the Divine Mercy prayer booklet that my cousin gave me as my starting point of the adoration. Suddenly, by God’s grace, since then, one hour was a breeze.

Much more than that, the weekly adorations were blessed with so much revelations and enlightenment. Praying to the Divine Mercy, Jesus said that His Divine Mercy seeks homosexual sinners. I asked how. He answered that He wants to use me. Then He made me look back at all the many homosexual encounters I had in the past. My guess estimate is that I have had sex with about 700 men. I felt much shame and sorrow with how I have defiled all these souls and I am forever connected to them because of my homosexuality. I had a strong urge to make atonements for each of these souls that I have defiled; to heal our vicious relationship. Then the Divine Mercy told me to receive one Eucharist for each of the souls that I have defiled as atonement. It was then I understood how he wants to use my weakness for His glory. I am forever connected to each of these souls because of my homosexual acts with them and Jesus wants to use all these connections to reach them too and heal all of us. Jesus’ words: “My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor 12: 9) became flesh for me.

I have been a regular mass goer for some years now (Sunday and weekdays). So this instruction in my mind was doable. Still, it was two years’ worth! But I said yes. A few days later, while reflecting on May as the month of Mary I was made to realize that I was actually skipping Saturday in my daily mass. (Please note that the exchanges with the Divine Mercy summarized above was a series of weekly adorations and did not necessarily occur on one session. As is typical with a dialogue with the Lord, it is not time bound as we understand time to be.). I found this silly especially because Saturday is a special day dedicated to the Blessed Mother. So, starting that month, I decided to also hear mass on Saturdays as proof of my devotion to the Blessed Mother. Since then, by God’s grace, I have been a daily communicant. It is very interesting to see this interplay between Jesus and His Mother Mary. And how when Jesus asks you to do something, He also sends the means to do it, in this case, His beloved Mother. This made real for me: “for my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” (Mt 11: 30)

Being a daily communicant was a most powerful grace. I consider that a major turning point in my redemption. Graces, mercies, understanding, consolation, and deepening of virtues came successively since then. Whereas I would often lose in my same sex struggles before, I was winning more and more frequently now because of the Eucharist. What I would like to point out though is that some days / weeks prior to becoming a daily communicant, towards the end of April that year, St. John Paul II was canonized together with St. John XXIII, during Divine Mercy Sunday. I read some more on St. John Paul II and found out that he was a Divine Mercy advocate. He has heard my “bulong” 7 years prior and sought the Divine Mercy to help me. It is also during his visit on World Youth Day 1995 that he emphasizes: “Do not be afraid.” Which is courage actually phrased differently that is quoted on the Courage shirt. Divine Mercy, I trust in You.


Part 2

One of the activities that Courage does, and which I enjoy, is doing mission work with some kids in Antipolo through the Missionaries of Charity. These kids come from poor neighborhoods which the Missionaries of Charity sisters regularly visit. They saw that these kids, mostly teenagers, are already manifesting homosexual behavior…they were boys wearing make-up and blouses and acted flamboyantly. They will gather them once a month at the Missionaries of Charity house in Antipolo and will invite Courage members to meet with them. We are now giving them catechism classes and more importantly, developing friendships with them.

Then, on another occasion, the Missionaries of Charity house in Tayuman invited us to give a talk on homosexuality there too. During this activity, some of us were discussing and wondering in amazement how come the Missionaries of Charity has been helping us tremendously in our apostolate. Their dedication to this apostolate was a mystery to us.

(Witnessing or apostolate is the fifth goal of Courage. As I am being slowly enlightened, it is an integral part of our healing.)

Some weeks after that discussion re the generous help given by the Missionaries of Charity, while surfing Facebook, I chanced upon a video posted by the Marian Fathers of the US on a lecture on the Divine Mercy. It was about an hour long but since I had this growing devotion to the Divine Mercy, I wanted to know more. The priest speaker was talking how the devotion to the Divine Mercy can be summarized in the acronym FINCH --- feast, image, novena, chaplet, and hour. Then he proceeded explaining each. When he got to “image”, he explained its background and how it is printed in their office by themselves to manage the cost. Then he shares that part of the proceeds of the sale of the image goes to the funding of their seminary. He goes on saying that a tenth of the images printed are sent as donation to the poor through the Missionaries of Charity. When it got to this part, I cried uncontrollably. I cried because I suddenly felt the weight of the seriousness of His intent that He wants His Divine Mercy to reach homosexual sinners. I cried because this was the answer to the mystery on why the Missionaries of Charity are helping us in our apostolate. The Marian Fathers are doing a charitable thing to the Missionaries of Charity in the US. Somewhere miles away, in another part of the globe, the Missionaries of Charity in turn are helping us reach homosexual sinners so that all of them will experience and encounter His Divine Mercy.

We do our best to be faithful with our monthly commitment to visit the kids of Antipolo. Since then, by God’s grace, He has been showing to us His hand of Mercy transforming them. The heavy make-up has been replaced with face powder; the blouses with regular shirts. Sure, the flamboyance is still there, but their sharing sessions and their Gospel and teaching reflections are showing a deepening of faith that surprises us including the Missionaries of Charity sisters.

This month, the schedule we have with them is on Apr 12, the Divine Mercy Sunday. The plan is to talk to them about the devotion to the Divine Mercy. Of course, there is nothing else that would be appropriate to teach the kids that day; this is expected. But, judging from the providential turn of events, it looks like we are in for something wonderfully unexpected. Divine Mercy, we trust in You.


"Souls who spread the honor of My mercy I shield through their entire life as a tender mother her infant, and at the hour of death I will not be a judge for them, but the Merciful Savior. At that last hour, a soul has nothing with which to defend itself except My mercy. Happy is the soul that during its lifetime immersed itself in the Fountain of Mercy, because justice will have no hold over it." (Diary, 1075)

The Hail Mary of a Protestant

In honor of Mary's Feast of Annunciation, I dedicate this post most especially to our Protestant and Born Again Christian brothers and sisters who view the Blessed Virgin as an obstacle in their relationship with our Lord and Savior. It is my prayer that you will all begin to appreciate Mary's unique role in salvation history even as we differ in our dogmatic beliefs and doctrines. Please read also this article Mary in Islam and Protestantism for a more in-depth view of this subject.

The Hail Mary of a Protestant

(A true story)

A little six-year-old Protestant boy had often heard his Catholic companions reciting the prayer "Hail Mary." He liked it so much that he copied it, memorized it and would recite it every day. "Look, Mommy, what a beautiful prayer," he said to his mother one day.

"Never again say it," answered the mother. "It is a superstitious prayer of Catholics who adore idols and think Mary a goddess. After all, she is a woman like any other. Come on, take this Bible and read it. It contains everything that we are bound to do and have to do." From that day on the little boy discontinued his daily "Hail Mary" and gave himself more time to reading the Bible instead.

One day, while reading the Gospel, he came across the passage about the Annunciation of the Angel to Our Lady. Full of joy, the little boy ran to his mother and said: "Mommy, I have found the 'Hail Mary' in the Bible which says: 'Hail full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou amongst women.' Why do you call it a superstitious prayer?"

On another occasion he found that beautiful Salutation of St. Elizabeth to the Virgin Mary and the wonderful canticle MAGNIFICAT in which Mary foretold that "the generations would call her blessed."

He said no more about it to his mother but started to recite the "Hail Mary" every day as before. He felt pleasure in addressing those charming words to the Mother of Jesus, our Savior.

When he was fourteen, he one day heard a discussion on Our Lady among the members of his family. Every one said that Mary was a common woman like any other woman. The boy, after listening to their erroneous reasoning could not bear it any longer, and full of indignation, he interrupted them, saying:

"Mary is not like any other children of Adam, stained with sin. No! The Angel called her FULL OF GRACE AND BLESSED AMONGST WOMEN. Mary is the Mother of Jesus Christ and consequently Mother of God. There is no higher dignity to which a creature can be raised. The Gospel says that the generations will proclaim her blessed and you are trying to despise her and look down on her. Your spirit is not the spirit of the Gospel or of the Bible which you proclaim to be the foundation of the Christian religion."

So deep was the impression which the boy's talk had made that his mother many times cried out sorrowfully: "Oh my God! I fear that this son of mine will one day join the Catholic religion, the religion of Popes!" And indeed, not very long afterwards, having made a serious study of both Protestantism and Catholicism, the boy found the latter to be the only true religion and embraced it and became one of its most ardent apostles.

Some time after his conversion, he met his married sister who rebuked him and said indignantly: "You little know how much I love my children. Should any one of them desire to become a Catholic, I would sooner pierce his heart with a dagger than allow him to embrace the religion of the Popes!"

Her anger and temper were as furious as those of St. Paul before his conversion. However, she would change her ways, just as St. Paul did on his way to Damascus. It so happened that one of her sons fell dangerously ill and the doctors gave up hope of recovery. Her brother then approached her and spoke to her affectionately, saying:

"My dear sister, you naturally wish to have your child cured. Very well, then, do what I ask you to do. Follow me, let us pray one 'Hail Mary' and promise God that, if your son recovers his health, you would seriously study the Catholic doctrine, and should you come to the conclusion that Catholicism is the only true religion, you would embrace it no matter what the sacrifices may be."

His sister was somewhat reluctant at the beginning, but as she wished for her son's recovery, she accepted her brother's proposal and recited the "Hail Mary" together with him. The next day her son was completely cured. The mother fulfilled her promise and she studied the Catholic doctrine. After long preparation she received Baptism together with her whole family, thanking her brother for being an apostle to her.

The story was related during a sermon given by the Rev. Fr. Tuckwell. "Brethren," he went on and said, "the boy who became a Catholic and converted his sister to Catholicism dedicated his whole life to the service of God. He is the priest who is speaking to you now! What I am I owe to Our Lady. You, too, my dear brethren, be entirely dedicated also to Our Lady and never let a day pass without saying the beautiful prayer, 'Hail Mary', and your Rosary. Ask her to enlighten the minds of Protestants who are separated from the true Church of Christ founded on the Rock (Peter) and 'against whom the gates of hell shall never prevail.'"

(Source: www.olrl.org/stories/)

“Is Christ only to be adored? Or is the holy Mother of God rather not to be honoured? This is the woman who crushed the Serpent’s head. Hear us. For your Son denies you nothing”.
- Martin Luther, Father of the Protestant Reformation

-oOo-

If you're free on Saturdays, you can attend this year's First Saturday Marian Conferences at San Carlos Seminary Auditorium, Guadalupe, Makati. The theme of this year's conference centers around the role of the laity. Refer to the poster above for specific topics.

For more inquiries, call 043-7571534, 0906-4058545, 0927-9006468. Email: charina6599@yahoo.com or sunting.008@gmail.com.

Admission is FREE!

Focus On Your Ambition, Not Your Addiction

Here's an old article from Catholic lay preacher Bo Sanchez that is full of practical advice and wisdom for those who are struggling to overcome their addictions. We must acknowledge that we struggle with our addiction, but let us not dwell so much on it or we may never find ourselves out of the rut.

Focus On Your Ambition, Not Your Addiction

Do you have a hidden addiction that is stealing your life away?

Are you a logical person?

Let me ask you 4 questions to test your powers of logic (I’m sure you’ve seen these before):

1. Question:How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?

Answer: 3 steps: 1) Open the Ref; 2) Put the giraffe in; and 3) Close the Ref.

2. Question #2: How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?

Answer: If you answered, 1) Open the Ref; 2) Put the elephant in; and 3) Close the Ref, that’s not correct. Here’s the right answer. It now takes 4 steps: 1) Open the Ref; 2) Remove the giraffe; 3) Put the elephant in; and 4) Close the Ref.

3. Question #3: Lion King called for a meeting of all the animals. One of them couldn’t make it. Which one?

Answer: The elephant, of course. He was stuck in the Ref.

4. Question #4:There’s a river that’s home to lots of crocodiles. How would you cross that river safely?

Answer: Just swim through it. Because all the crocodiles are attending a meeting with Lion King.

How did you fare? Are you a logical person?

Let me share with you a story in the Bible about someone who didn’t think too logically…

The Illogical Thinking That We All Do

Jacob and Esau were twin brothers. But Esau was considered the eldest because he went out of the womb of his mother first.

One day, Jacob was cooking some stew. Esau arrived from hunting and was exhausted and hungry. Esau said to Jacob, “I’m starved. Give me some of your red stew.”

Now Jacob said something absolutely nutty. He said, “All right, but you’ve got to do one thing first. Trade me your rights as the firstborn son.” You get an inkling on how jealous Jacob must have been towards his twin brother.

But what was nuttier was Esau’s reaction. He said, “Sure! Now give me that red stew now.”

Jacob said, “You’ve got to swear first that you’re giving me your birthright…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah… whatever! I swear! Now give me that lentil soup…”[1]

Now why would Esau exchange his birthright for a single bowl of red stew?

Was his brain taking a vacation on that day? Was it on a Caribbean cruise or gone shopping in Hong Kong? Didn’t Esau know what his birthright meant? Being firstborn meant a position of privilege. Being firstborn meant great honor. And yes, being firstborn meant a huge inheritance—where he can buy a swimming pool filled with red stew if he wanted.

Why was he throwing all that for a bowl of red stew today?

Friends, this is a great picture of what addiction is. (By the way, I’m not saying Esau was addicted to red stew. I’m merely using his story as an analogy.)

The Foolish Exchanges We Make

I met a man who threw away his entire family for drugs. Years ago, he had a great job, a nice home, two kids, and beautiful wife. Today, because of a bunch of chemicals he was snorting through his nostrils, he destroyed his life. He’s lost his job and his home. His kids hate him and his wife is seeing another man…

Why exchange all that for another whiff of shabu?

There’s no logic. It’s a foolish exchange.

One day, a woman asked for my help. She said, “My husband is a compulsive gambler. He stole money from his office and used it to gamble. His boss found out about it and is pressing charges. My husband’s going to jail!”

Why exchange a great job for another crack at the blackjack table?

Again, it’s a foolish exchange.

The list goes on.

· A chain-smoker, exchanging his health for another nicotine fix.

· A porn-addict, exchanging his dignity and mental-monogamy, for another testosterone fantasy.

· A woman that gives her body to yet another man, just so that he would love her, exchanging her self-respect for a fleeting embrace.

· A government employee taking a bribe, exchanging his honor for cash. After years of doing it, he no longer feels any guilt, his conscience virtually dead.

One Power Skill Of Mature People

On a superficial level, the problem is impatience and impulsiveness.

And boy, do I know impulsiveness.

Like Esau, I catch myself wanting it now—no matter what the cost is to my future. Like Esau, I want my red stew now, whatever my “red stew” is. For me, it could be internet porn, sexual fantasies, and the approval of people. (For my full story on how God healed my addictions, read my book, Your Past Does Not Define Your Future. It’s available through www.shepherdsvoice.com.ph I’ll also be releasing the Audio book and E-book version very soon.)

Impulsiveness means I prioritize my short-term wants over my long-term needs.

This takes us to that very important, essential, powerful skill that all mature people have: The ability to delay gratification. You can’t be emotionally and spiritual mature without it. It’s impossible.

Delaying gratification is the power skill of champions. In any field!

Because there’s a huge reward in front of them, champions sacrifice today so that they can get their reward tomorrow.

Do you want to become a champion?

What great reward are you aiming for?

What is your holy ambition?

Anatomy of An Addiction

Before I talk more about holy ambition, let me review what we covered in my last article. On a deeper level, the problem of addiction is this:

1. Real Need è 2. Painful Feelings è 3. Addiction

Deep inside, there’s a (1) real need.

And that real need is an empty love tank. Bottom line, the addict doesn’t love himself. The addict doesn’t value himself. The addict doesn’t respect himself. Sometimes, he is conscious of this desperate need for love. Many times, he isn’t aware of it. It’s all unconscious.

My personal interpretation of the Esau-Jacob story above is that Esau didn’t value his birthright because he didn’t value himself. He didn’t value his future.

Once again, let me state my central point: I believe that every addiction is a hunger for love. That’s the real need behind every addiction. Your hunger of love produces the second part of the equation: (2) painful feelings—such as depression, anger, fear, anxiety, loneliness, etc.

To escape these painful feelings, the addict will pick a preferred anesthesia. That anesthesia is the third part of the equation: (3) addiction. It could be gambling, drugs, and alcohol. It could be workaholism until one’s family breaks down. Or shopping until five credit cards are maxed out. Or food until one becomes obese. Or dieting until one becomes very sick.

In order for an addiction to get healed, the real needs must be met. The love tank must be filled.

Thankfully, you can do that in many ways as we discussed in my last article.

In getting rid of their bad habits, I share to them one of the most powerful—and controversial—principles…

Don’t Focus On Your Addiction…

Bear with me. Do this exercise for me.

Say out loud “I won’t think of a Pink Elephant” for five times.

Ready? Go…

“I won’t think of a Pink Elephant.”

“I won’t think of a Pink Elephant.”

“I won’t think of a Pink Elephant.”

“I won’t think of a Pink Elephant.”

“I won’t think of a Pink Elephant.”

Let me ask you a question: What are you thinking of right now?

A Pink Elephant, of course.

People who want to overcome their addictions end up focusing on their addictions, and it simply won’t work.

When a smoker says, “I won’t smoke anymore!” 300x a day, guess what fills his mind? Smoking his favorite Marlboros, what else?

When a compulsive eater says, “I won’t eat!” 300x a day, guess what fills his mind? Eating his favorite cheeseburgers and chocolate sundaes.

When you focus on your bad habits, you enter into a vicious cycle that buries you deeper into your addiction. You end up depressed and helpless, draining your love tank even more, making you open more to your addictions.

Look. I’m not saying you deny that you have an addiction. In fact, acknowledging that you have an addiction is the first step to healing it. By admitting you’ve got a problem, you solve 50% of your problem. But you see, there’s a big difference between acknowledging it and focusing on it 24 hours a day.

A Simple Principle of The Universe

Let me share to you a simple, poweiirful, universal principle that has guided me in my daily life:

What you focus on grows!

Let me sidetrack a bit and explain this principle to you.

I know some people who focus on the bad things in their day.

They wake up in the morning feeling lousy. “It’s a terrible day,” they mutter. They ride to work complaining about how hot it is. They wade through the traffic complaining about the crazy drivers on the streets. They arrive at their office complaining about the work load on their desks. They complain about their boss, the low pay, the slow internet, the over time, the terrible food at the cafeteria, and how cold the air-conditioning is.

I pity them. Because the more they complain, the more they feel miserable.

Sooner or later, they experience more problems. (Remember, what you focus on grows.)

First, they may get sick. The Bible says a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.[2] Medical studies have shown that most of our physical diseases are psychosomatic. A negative spirit may create ulcers, hypertension, and other diseases. Simply because our bodies are blueprints of our emotional life.

Second, they may lose friends. Because no one wants to talk to a whiner. About her, they’ll say, “She’s depressing and it may be contagious!”

Third, they may lose their job—or at the very least, a promotion. Someone who doesn’t have passion in his work will not be rewarded. 200 CEO’s were asked what’s the number one ability that they look for in their employee, and most of them said, “The ability to work with others.” It’s not technical skills, but relational skills that’s prized in companies.

Okay, my digression is enough. How does this apply to your hidden addiction?

Focus On Your Ambition

Instead of focusing on your addiction, focus on your ambition.

“Ambition” has a negative meaning today, so let me purify this word.

By ambition, I mean your vision for your future.

By ambition, I mean the dreams that God has placed in your heart.

So instead of saying, “I’ll stop smoking” 300x a day, say instead, “I’ll be healthy and run the marathon” or “I’ll be healthy and be a Class B badminton player.”

Instead of saying, “I’ll stop eating”, say, “I’ll be healthy, weigh a healthy120 pounds, go to the gym three times a week, play badminton twice a week…”

Instead of saying, “I’ll stop shopping everyday,” say, “Starting next month, I’ll save P5,000 a month, erase all credit card debt by December 2007, and start investing in a mutual fund by January 2008, and accumulate P200,000 by June 2010.”

When you focus on your addiction, it depresses you.

When you focus on your ambition, it fuels you with passion.

And what happens when you do that? As you take baby steps towards fulfilling your ambition, you value yourself more. You gain confidence. You gain self-respect. Little by little, love is being poured into your Love Tank. The cravings are still there, but they lose its urgency and intensity.

Make Your Dreams MAGIC Dreams

Each Sunday, I preach to almost two thousand people in Valle Verde Country Club (Beside ULTRA) in Pasig, Metro Manla (For more information, call Tel (632) 7259999). Each Sunday, I teach them how to dream. So I wrote a Novena to God’s Love Prayer Booklet and gave it to each of them.

In that Novena, I ask people to write 7 dreams that they will pray for everyday. Believe me, people were excited writing down their dreams!

And as they pray for them, I ask them to also take baby steps towards fulfilling them. (Can I make a plug? I’m mailing the Novena to God’s Love Prayer Booklet for FREE to all KerygmaFamily members who give a monthly Love Offering to our ministry. If you’re not yet a member, log onto www.kerygmafamily.com now!)

In the Novena, I also give instructions that their dreams should be….MAGIC!

By MAGIC, I mean…

M- Measurable

Don’t just write, “Have a happy family”; Write instead, “Have a happy family by having separate weekly dates with my spouse and each child starting August 2007”; Don’t just write, “Have more money”; Write instead, “Earn an additional P10T each month through a sideline by December 2007.”

A - Ambitious

Again, I use “ambition” without its negative meaning. By “ambition”, I simply mean dreaming big dreams! Small dreams won’t excite you. But even if they’re ambitious, let your dreams also be attainable at the same time.

G - Godly

Never dream from greed or selfish ego. They will make you empty and miserable. Instead, discover the dreams that God has placed in your heart. The fulfillment of these dreams should ultimately help you love God and others more. (And don’t you notice? G is at the middle. God should be the center of our dreams.)

I - Imaginative

Put details in your dream. Make it graphic. Don’t just write, “Own a house by 2009.” Describe what kind of house you want. “Own a 2-bedroom white house with a small garden in Laguna by 2009.”

C – Complete

Have dreams that touch the most important aspects of your life: Spiritual, Family, Financial, Physical… By succeeding in all areas, you attain Life Balance.

Wise Exchange, Anyone?

Yesterday, I read a beautiful story.

One day, a little girl named Jenny was with her mother in the grocery store. She saw a toy pearl bracelet worth P20. She became giddy with excitement and asked her mother to buy it for her. “Are you sure you like it?” her mother asked.

“Yes, Mommy! Please, please, please buy it for me!”

So the mother bought the toy pearls for little Jenny.

Jenny’s father, who loved her very much, read a bedtime story to Jenny each night. One night, after reading to her, he asked her, “Jenny, do you love me?”

“Of course I love you, Daddy,” she said.

“Can you give me your pearl bracelet?” he asked.

Little Jenny pouted. “You can have my princess doll, Daddy, but not my pearl bracelet. That’s my favorite.”

Daddy smiled, “That’s okay Jenny, I love you.” He kissed her good night.

Seven days later, after another reading session, the father asked again, “Jenny, do you love me?’

“Daddy, you know that I love you,” the little girl said.

“Can you give me your pearl bracelet?” he smiled.

“No Daddy, please. You can have my brush, my violet pen, and my red hair band. But not my pearl bracelet!”

He chuckled. “That’s okay, hon. I love you,” and kissed her goodnight.

But a few days later, a teary-eyed Jenny came to her father and said, “Daddy, I love you very much,” and placed in his hand her toy pearl bracelet.

Her father gave her a big hug and said, “I have a very special gift for you, little girl.” He pulled out from his pocket a beautiful velvet case with gold lining. He opened it, showing to her a genuine pearl bracelet. “This is yours. No more toy pearl bracelet for you, my princess. You deserve the real one.”

Friends, this is the kind of wise exchange that God wants to give to us.

Not foolish exchanges that the “Jacobs” and the “Red Stews” in our lives are offering to us.

Instead, God wants to take what is cheap and fake in our lives (our addictions), so that He could give us something much, much better (our holy ambitions).

Give up your addiction.

Give up what is counterfeit.

Give up what destroys you.

Give up what pulls you away from God and life and happiness.

Like Jenny, you deserve better.

I remain your friend,

Bo Sanchez


"Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be." - Karen Ravn

True Wealth

Just thought you might get inspired from these quotes I took from True Wealth - Reflections on What Matters Most in Life by Blue Mountain Arts Collection.


Man cannot live by bread alone. The making of money, the accumulation of material power, is not all there is to living. Life is something more than these, and the man who misses this truth misses the greatest joy and satisfaction that can come into his life - service for others (Edward Bok)

-oOo-

So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. (Morrie Schwartz)

-oOo-

Real success is not to be sought after in the outer world, but discovered in your inner world. I am not condemning the stuff of life. We all want the things that life offers. But we don't need as much as we think we do.

Sooner or later you will discover that real success is to be found in loving relationships. With your family, friends, strangers, and anyone who crosses your path. It is kindness shared, support given and received, listening, giving, and caring.

These will endure while your car rusts, your toys break, and you tire of the temporary gratifications that bring you what you think is real.

What matters is people. What lasts is love. What counts are true friends. And if you treasure these you can count yourself a success. (Tim Connor)

-oOo-

If a man measures life by what others do for him, he is apt to be disappointed; but if he measures life by what he does for others, there is no time for despair. If he measures life by its accumulations, these usually fall short of his expectations, but if he measures life by the contribution which he has made to the sum of human happiness, his only disappointment is in not finding time to do all that his heart prompts him to do. Whether he spends his time trying to absorb from the world only to have the burden of life grow daily heavier, or spends his time in an effort to accomplish something of real value to the race, depends upon his ideal. (William Jennings Bryan)

-oOo-

True wealth is an emotion: it's a sense of absolute abundance. Our heritage alone makes us wealthy. We have the privilege of enjoying great works of art that we didn't paint, music we didn't compose, great educational institutions we didn't build. Feel the wealth of the nation's parks that you own. Know that you're a wealthy person now, and enjoy that wealth. Realize that this is a part of your abundance, and this feeling of gratitude will allow you to create even more. (Anthony Robbins)

-oOo-

Life Without Limits

Meet Nick Vujicic. He is living life to the fullest...with a twist. If after watching this video you feel inspired, please pay if forward.


"I love living life. I am happy." - Nick V

One Beautiful Love Story

I was touched after reading this article from my inbox. This is a true-to-life story of a man's search for God and the transformation that ensued leading him to discover the thing that truly matters in life.



Father John Powell, a professor at Loyola University in Chicago, writes about a student in his Theology of Faith class named Tommy :

"Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith.

That was the day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders. It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it isn't what's on your head but what's in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped... I immediately filed Tommy under 'S' for strange... Very strange.

Tommy turned out to be the 'atheist in residence' in my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father/God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew.

When he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a cynical tone, 'Do you think I'll ever find God?'

I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. 'No!' I said very emphatically.

'Why not,' he responded, 'I thought that was the product you were pushing?!'

I let him get five steps from the classroom door and then called out, 'Tommy! I don't think you'll ever find Him, but I am absolutely certain that He will find you!' He shrugged a little and left my class and my life.

I felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line -- He will find you! At least I thought it was clever. Later I heard that Tommy had graduated, and I was duly grateful.

Then a sad report came. I heard that Tommy had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out, he came to see me. When he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted and the long hair had all fallen out as a result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his voice was firm ...for the first time, I believed ....

'Tommy, I've thought about you so often; I hear you are sick,' I blurted out.

'Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It's a matter of weeks...'

'Can you talk about it, Tom?' I asked.

'Sure, what would you like to know?' he replied

'What's it like to be only twenty-four and dying?'

'Well, it could be worse.'

'Like what?'

'Well, like being fifty and having no values or ideals? Like being fifty and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making money are the real biggies in life..'

I began to look through my mental file cabinet under 'S' where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification, God sends back into my life to educate me.)

'But what I really came to see you about,' Tom said, 'is something you said to me on the last day of class.' (He remembered!)

He continued, 'I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, 'No!' which surprised me. Then you said, 'But He will find you..' I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time.

(My clever line. He thought about that a lot!)

'But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, that's when I got serious about locating God ... And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven ... But God did not come out. In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success? You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying. And then you quit.

Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit. I decided that I didn't really care about God, about an afterlife, or anything like that. I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable. I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said: 'The essential sadness is to go through life without loving.' But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you had loved them.''

'So, I began with the hardest one, my Dad.. He was reading the newspaper when I approached him.. 'Dad?'

'Yes, what?' he asked without lowering the newspaper.

'Dad, I would like to talk with you.'

'Well, talk!'

'I mean . It's really important.'

The newspaper came down three slow inches. 'What is it?'

'Dad, I love you, I just wanted you to know that.' Tom smiled at me and said it with obvious satisfaction, as though he felt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him. 'The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me. We talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me..'

'It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years.

I was only sorry about one thing --- that I had waited so long. Here I was, just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to.

Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn't come to me when I pleaded with Him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, 'C'mon, jump through. C'mon, I'll give you three days, three weeks.''

'Apparently God does things in His own way and at His own hour. But the important thing is that He was there. He found me! You were right. He found me even after I stopped looking for Him.'

'Tommy,' I practically gasped, 'I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realize. To me, at least, you are saying that the surest way to find God is not to make Him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said that. He said: 'God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him.' Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had you in class, you were a real pain. But (laughingly) you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing it would not be half as effective as if you were to tell it.'

'Oooh.. I was ready for you, but I don't know if I'm ready for your class.'

'Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call.'

In a few days Tom called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me. So we scheduled a date.

However, he never made it. He had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class. Of course, his life was not really ended by his death, only changed. He made the great step from faith into vision. He found a life far more beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever imagined.

Before he died, we talked one last time.

'I'm not going to make it to your class,' he said.

'I know, Tom.'

'Will you tell them for me? Will you....tell the whole world for me?'

'I will, Tom. I'll tell them. I'll do my best.'

So, to all of you who have been kind enough to read this simple story about God's love, thank you for listening. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit, verdant hills of heaven --- I told them, Tommy, as best I could.

If this story means anything to you, please pass it on to a friend or two. It is a true story and is not enhanced for publicity purposes.



With thanks,

Rev. John Powell, Professor
Loyola University, Chicago

I Dreamed A Dream

It's time-out from my usual posts. I almost missed this true-to-life fairy tale. When I stumbled upon her story, I understood why she is fast becoming a YouTube superstar garnering more than 12 million hits! The woman's name is Susan Boyle, the middle-aged, never been married, never been kissed, Elaine Paige wannabe church worker who stunned the judges and audience of Britain's Got Talent when she sang the song I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables.

Here's how The Herald reported the story:

The moment the reality show’s audience and judging panel saw the small, shy, middle-aged woman, they started to smirk. When she said she wanted a professional singing career to equal that of Elaine Paige, the camera showed audience members rolling their eyes in disbelief. They scoffed when she told Simon Cowell, one of the judges, how she’d reached her forties without managing to develop a singing career because she hadn’t had the opportunity. Another judge, Piers Morgan, later wrote on his blog that, just before she launched into I Dreamed a Dream, the 3000-strong audience in Glasgow was laughing and the three judges were suppressing chuckles.

It was rude and cruel and arrogant. Susan Boyle from Blackburn, West Lothian, was presumed to be a buffoon. Click here for the entire article

But what happened next knocked everyone off their feet. Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, Ms Susan Boyle!

I Dreamed A Dream

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high,
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.

Then I was young and unafraid
When dreams were made and used,
And wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung,
No wine untasted.

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hopes apart
As they turn your dreams to shame.

And still I dream he'll come to me
And we will live our lives together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms
We cannot weather...

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seems
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed.