Is Internet Porn Just A Harmless Pasttime?

Beginning today, I am going to post articles dealing with internet pornography. I am fully aware that countless men (and also women) struggle with this addiction including myself. Thankfully, I have found an online psycho-education and training program that aims to equip people with valuable information about the scientific nature of porn not available anywhere else. The Candeo program is designed to help the porn addict on three fronts - prevention, social awareness, and healing. Hopefully, I would be able to share too my personal struggles with porn in the coming weeks. For now, let us begin to tackle this issue by first gaining an understanding of how porn affects us.


by Mark Kastleman

Those who produce Internet pornography and many of those who indulge in it would have us believe that it’s a harmless pastime; the “prudes” and “zealots” are blowing the issue all out of proportion. They make statements such as these:

• “Porn is a harmless outlet, an amusement, a way to let off the steam of natural impulses.”
• “What people view in the privacy of their own homes or offices doesn’t hurt anyone and is no one’s business.”
• “Boys will be boys.”
• “Pornography is a choice. If you don’t like it, then don’t look at it.”

Such attitudes couldn’t be further from the truth. Pornography claims its victims without regard to age, gender, race or religion. No one is immune; all are at risk. In its insidious wake lie the tractable innocent and the eager participant alike, side by side. With the unlimited distribution potential and capability of the Internet, pornography’s casualty list grows longer with each passing day.

On reading the forgoing dialogue, some readers may think, “Mark, aren’t you overreacting just a bit? How can the viewing of Internet pornography in the privacy of people’s own homes or offices be causing that many problems? Isn’t this just a harmless pastime, a healthy sexual outlet?”

In addition to the direct and well-documented link between porn use and rape, incest, molestation and pedophilia, like a thief in the night, Internet porn is also subtly, quietly, almost unnoticeably robbing individuals, couples and families of the things they hold most precious: time, energy, creativity, healthy marriage relationships, family love, respect, morality, decency, integrity, patience, harmony, success, happiness, fulfillment, spirituality–and the list goes on.

Silent Alarms

Silent alarms are going off all around us as a result of the effects of pornography on us, on our children, and on society as a whole. But few are responding to these alarms. Why? Because too many are allowing their attention to be diverted by the much louder alarms being set off by the pornographers themselves.

Censorship! First Amendment Rights! Freedom! scream these “wolves in sheep’s clothing,” all the while quietly collecting their enormous profits. Pornographers deliberately trigger these alarms just like the bank robber who sends a decoy to rob the teller while he empties the main vault and waltzes out the back door!

The tragedy is that while much of America is buying into and being distracted by these alleged “assaults” on our constitutional rights, the pornographers are robbing millions of their freedom by addicting them to porn. Along the way they are stealing the most precious treasure we have: the future legacy of goodness and decency that we want our children and grandchildren to enjoy.

The waves of pornography pouring freely from the Internet have developed into destructive shockwaves. Their aftershock rumblings will wreak havoc at a level and intensity of destruction never before experienced in the history of mankind.

Literally tens of millions of people have been victimized by pornography, including those who partake of this highly addictive drug and the myriad lives they negatively impact as a result. Pornography destroys marriages and families, increases overall crime rates, hammers corporate productivity, spreads sexually transmitted diseases, and the list goes on and on.

A common argument in favor of pornography is that it is simply entertainment and negatively affects only a few people. “The Ted Bundys of the world are sick and rare,” cries the pro-porn camp. “For the rest of us, porn is no different than any other hobby.”

Pornography is the “Great Thief” of Human Potential

It has been said: The saddest words of tongue and pen are these–What might have been. One of the greatest tragedies of pornography is that fact that it robs an individual of his great potential–all that he might have been, done and contributed to family and society. Pornography is a purely selfish hobby; it gives nothing to anyone but the viewer and the porn producer. In that way it is not at all like other hobbies, such as painting, writing, playing a musical instrument, woodworking or gardening, which give something of value to others and make the hobbyist a more generous, well-rounded person.

There Are Two Seas

Writer Bruce Barton inspires us with a powerful and appropriate metaphor:

One is fresh and fish abound in it. Splashes of green adorn its landscape. Trees spread their branches over it and stretch out their thirsty roots to sip of its life-giving waters. Along its shores children play, as children played when He was there. He loved it. He could look across its silver surface as He spoke His parables.

And on a rolling plain, not far away, He fed five thousand people in the miracle of the loaves and fishes. The River Jordan forms this Sea with sparkling waters from the hills. It laughs in the sunshine, and men build their houses near it, and birds their nests, and every kind of life is happier because it is there.

The River Jordan flows on south into another Sea. Here there is no splash of fish, no fluttering leaf, no song of birds, no laughter of little children. Travelers do not pass, unless on urgent business which might take them there. The air hangs heavy above its waters, and neither man nor beast nor fowl will drink of it.

What makes this mighty difference in these neighbor Seas? Not the River Jordan, it empties the same good water into both. Not the soil in which they lie, nor the country round about. The Sea of Galilee receives and gives but does not keep the Jordan water to itself. For every drop which flows into it, another drop flows out. The receiving and the giving go on, day after day, in equal measure. The other Sea hoards its income jealously. Every drop it gets, it keeps. The Sea of Galilee gives and lives. The other Sea gives nothing. It is named “The Dead Sea”.

So it is with those who immerse themselves in the “me-first/pleasure/climax-centered” world of Internet pornography. They keep everything for themselves. Like the selfish sea, they can become truly dead in their desires and capacities to love, lift and serve those around them. It is the grossly exaggerated self-centered and narcissistic nature of pornography use that produces so many victims. The great tragedy of pornography is that it isolates the user and disrupts and eventually destroys his most important relationships: Creator, self, spouse, children, extended family and friends.

Let’s Focus on Solutions!

With all of my pontificating about the true motives of pornographers and the victims in their wake, let me be clear about my motives. I am not attempting to chastise or create more shame if you struggle with pornography, nor do I want to resurrect painful memories if you are a victim, rather I want to raise your level of awareness and commitment to protecting your family and all those you care about from this awful epidemic. And most especially, if you or someone you care about is currently caught in the trap of pornography addiction, there is a way out. Taking the first steps onto the path of freedom is as simple as visiting the Candeo recovery training website at www.candeocan.com.