A peek from Bro. N's journal:
I learned a beautiful lesson reflecting from my experience today.
I was in my room laughing incessantly from a television series that I just finished watching for the past hour, when all of a sudden I was overwhelmed by a strong emotion - one that is not all too unfamiliar.
I felt terribly lonely. That awful hurting emotion that you are all on your own accompanied by a striking fear of being abandoned. It came from deep beneath the surface I'm well aware. And it's getting more frequent since the healing conference I attended the weekend before which dealt with sexual and relational brokenness. The spontaneous flashbacks - scenes and feelings that you have kept bottled up for so long.
I was quickly moved to tears.
It took me a while to go beyond the hesitant anxiety of causing concern, but eventually I gained the strength to text three brothers from our Courage group to pray for me. I am relieved by their words dealing with such a spontaneous reaction. They assured me that asking for help was the right thing to do. The feeling lingered still after my ordeal. But I was consoled psychologically that there's someone present (though not necessarily physically present) when I get the feeling that I'm about to fall.
Suddenly I realized that I'm no longer lonely after all. And I thank God for it.
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