Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Thoughts to Ponder

Lengthy forwarded quotes from a Sexaholics Anonymous friend:

Why o why is it so much easier to find fault with ourselves than to acknowledge a virtue? Why do we focus so intently on our failures and give scant nod to our successes? Why are we more inclined to give the benefit of the doubt to others than ever to ourselves? Self-esteem slips a notch with every harsh self-judgment. Since a healthy self-esteem is essential in our recovery from addiction, we need to learn to be fair, let alone gentle, with ourselves. The negative messages from the past may howl in protest as we dare to challenge them. The urge to discredit our efforts may be very great but we must rise up and demand our fair share of credit and acknowledge our progress and efforts no matter how incrementally small they may appear! We are worth it! - Adapted from 'Believing in Myself'


Just as past experiences set up our expectations of what is to come, our expectations actually give form and shape to future events. The fact is that expectations are the tracks our train runs on. As the tracks go, so does our train. That's why we need to find out just what our expectations really are. Do we truly expect to be happy? Do we really think we can progress on our recovery? Do we honestly believe that we are capable of taking part in an honest, loyal, and committed relationship? Do we expect ever to have healthy, wholesome fun again? It may be that we don't expect any of these things. We may have developed an ingrained certainty that "this will hurt," the worst will inevitably happen, failure and disappointment are right around the corner. If that's the case, we need to know it so that we can do something about it. If self-esteem is a train running on the tracks of our expectations, we may need to lay down some new track. Past experiences only foretell the future if I permit it. - Adapted from 'Believing in Myself'


The 12 steps are a suggested program of recovery, not a cure. We can follow them and live a healed life, but we never develop immunity to our addictions and codependency. We remain vulnerable to slips, binges, and a return to old behaviors. If that has happened to us, our first need is to find a way back to the program. A slip may be telling us a blatant truth we avoided before. Our complete honesty after a slip often leads to renewed knowledge of our powerlessness. There is no value in feeling more shame and self-hate after a slip. We need to humbly admit that on our own, we are incomplete and imperfect people. Recovery will come, not by shame but from honestly accepting our powerlessness and the help we need from our HP (higher powers)and our group. (Adapted from Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men, Sept. 28)


'Emo' sa Metro Quote:

Nang mawala ka sa akin, ikaw at ako ay nawalan
Ako dahil ikaw ang minahal ko nang lubusan
At ikaw dahil ako ang sa iyo ay lubusang nagmahal.
Ngunit sa dalawa ay ikaw ang higit na nawalan
Dahil pwede kong mahalin ang iba tulad nang pagmamahal ko sa iyo
Ngunit ikaw ay di mamahalin tulad nang kung paano kita minahal.


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