A Complaint Against GMA-7's My Husband's Lover

Bro. Rollie, our group leader in Courage Philippines, just recently filed a letter of complaint addressed to the MTRCB against the airing of GMA-7's latest 'telenovela' My Husband's Lover because of its strong pro-gay message. He has also been fighting it out on MHL FB page with Suzette Doctolero herself, but sadly he was being severely criticized in that FB group discussion because of his dissenting comments against the airing of MHL and for promoting the truth about same-sex attraction.

I've read that this 'bekiserye' is popular not only among the gay crowd but even with the non-gay crowd, which is quite an interesting phenomenon. There are so many things going for MHL. It is the first of its kind to be shown on Philippine TV which undoubtedly contributes much to its popularity. You've got top-rate actors and actresses portraying their respective roles excellently. Not to mention all the hype and publicity that the media has created for its leading characters Tom Rodriguez (Vincent) and Dennis Trillo (Eric), tagging them with the monicker TomDen, one of the country's "hottest loveteam" at the moment. And of course, Kuh's rendition of its theme song 'One More Try' really adds to all that drama as well.  That's showbusiness what do you expect?

On the flip side, there is really nothing much to expect from MHL. The story of a married man who falls in love with another man has been tackled over and over again in most gay indie films. The character of Vincent's father, who is a retired homophobic military general is so stereotypical. You can almost predict where all this will lead to - the rekindling of old flame, infidelity, suspicion, discovery of the affair, and the ensuing family conflict and drama. Who will Vincent choose in the end - his wife or his lover? Sounds familiar? You bet.

-oOo-

Dear MTRCB Board,

I am a concerned citizen, and I would like to write about my disturbed spirit over GMA7's television show "My Husband's Lover" being aired every night as part of their Telebabad series of soap operas.

I am concerned that this show is guided by the gay agenda that deems to desensitize our viewing public with the following ideas about homosexuality:

* Homosexuality is a gift of nature.

* Homosexual behavior cannot be controlled.

* Homosexuals are preoccupied seeking romantic sexual relationships with the same-sex.

* The Church is homophobic and propagate a culture of hate against homosexual persons.

* Homosexuals who are accepted for what they are AND for what they do live happy lives.

* Once a homosexual, always a homosexual.

I am a person with same-sex attractions, and I see these ideas as perversions of the truth about homosexuality, as I counter these lies with the following truths:

* A homosexual is a person with same-sex attractions.

* There is a difference between homosexual attraction and homosexual behavior.

* Homosexuality is not all of genetics but more of environment.

* Homosexuals have choices.

* Change is difficult but possible for the homosexual.

* There are groups available to help homosexuals who decide to change.

* God, through the Church, loves the homosexual person.

=====================================
The Catechism of the Catholic Church clearly states that homosexuals “…must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.”

- Cardinal Ratzinger’s (now Pope Benedict XVI) Letter to the Bishops On the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons (1986)
=====================================

I am concerned because I have been engaging in dialogue with the writers of this show on their facebook account, but it seems that they are adamant in presenting their own beliefs about family life and individual human rights (gay rights). With this, it is most likely that they will transmit their own beliefs and values through this show upon our innocently watching viewing public.

I have reminded them of their responsibility as media persons to inculcate authentic Filipino values to our public, but they just scoffed at me and attacked me personally.

I would like to ask your good office to put this show under strict monitoring, for though this show is rated Strict Parental Guidance, we are after the fair treatment of this show on such a sensitive topic such as homosexuality.

Homosexual persons should be treated with respect and compassion, but the promotion of the homosexual lifestyle (having sex with persons of the same sex) as a good thing is a disservice to the general viewing public. Please note that I have viewed the latest data from DOH (March 2013) on HIV cases and homosexual acts is listed as the number one factor of transmitting this disease. This fact along with my own (and others like me) personal journey out of homosexuality begs to disagree.

We owe it to our people to show programs that will lead them to a better understanding of reality, but still inculcating authentic Filipino values about family and marriage.

I hope that my request of strict monitoring of this show would be considered.

Thank you so much and God bless you!

Rolando C. delos Reyes II

-oOo-

Addendum:  To those who want to express their disgust with GMA7's My Husband's Lover which has the subtle message of promoting homosexuality among our young people - please sign the petition below:

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/we-stand-for-filipino-morality/

Christ in our Hearts

And the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:14).  May the Eternal Word who is Jesus find a sacred place in our hearts to dwell this Christmas and like Mary may we learn to ponder the Word in our hearts.

Wishing you all a joy-filled Christmas and a prosperous New Year!

Brothers of Mercy

If there is a group of people who suffers a great deal of neglect and indifference from our society, it's got to be the people with mental disabilities. We fear to come near them because we do not know what is running in their heads. They can be violent and out of control. They can be quiet and solitary. Most of them talk just plain nonsense and that makes caring for them particularly challenging.

Last Sunday we had the opportunity to visit a place in Bocaue, Bulacan that cares for these people and they call themselves Brothers of Mercy, which is a religious institution founded by St. John of God whose picture you can see above carrying Christ. We spent half of our day there amongst the psychiatric patients and I saw how miserable and difficult their situation is. But thanks be to God there are a few good men who unselfishly devote themselves in looking after them. Compared to the "taong grasa" and mentally handicapped vagrants you occasionally encounter in the streets, here at least they have their medicines and basic necessities covered.

Closer to home, I too experience the daily struggle of caring for a person who is mentally unstable. My father who is in his late 60s is already showing signs of mental deterioration, probably a form of early dementia, and it is no joke caring for people with this disability. My dad is totally dependent on us for his needs and he cannot be left all alone by himself without someone nearby. Oftentimes he would throw tantrums like a little kid, can be very noisy and scandalous, etc. My mom is his primary caregiver and I see how physically and emotionally draining this can be. It really takes a lot of sacrifice, love, and patience on her part to do this thankless job. In many instances her patience is stretched to the limits, even to the point of giving up, because he can be very moody, temperamental, and uncooperative. It is hard for me to deal with him as well because I have father wounds, and even after some time I still find myself resenting the idea of having to take care of my father, who being the head of the family should be the one supporting us and caring for us. I still adamantly cling to my irrational thinking that parents should not become a burden to their children in their old age because we their children have our own busy lives to take care of. It's certainly driving me nuts at times.


Who are the Brothers of Mercy?

The Brothers of Mercy are consecrated to God in adoration, love, and praise. Companions of Jesus in His poverty, chastity, and obedience, especially in His mercy to the poor and the infirm. The rich young man of the Gospel wished to be a Companion of Jesus - and Jesus loved him - but he would not leave his possessions so he went away sad. "Will you also go away?"

Unlike other congregations with similar charism to the poor such as Missionaries of Charity whose numbers are in the hundreds or even thousands, you can count the number of consecrated brothers in their community in your bare hands. They are only aided by a handful of volunteers and a few benefactors in their work.

A Brother?

From the beginnings of the Church, countless men have dedicated themselves to God as priests, for the administration of the sacraments to the faithful.

And many laymen have become monks and religious, serving God in the quiet of their monasteries and religious houses, without neglecting the needs of the poor and sick. These monks and religious are called "Brothers".

Today, the 'Brothers of Mercy of Saint John of God' are consecrated to God in the service of the sick-poor, the infirm in mind and body, homeless and abandoned, to those in prisons, to the deaf.

If you feel called by God in this particular ministry, I urge you to pay them a visit and see if this is where God wants you to answer His call. You can contact them at the following:

The Vocation Director
Brothers of Mercy of Saint John of God
Igulot, Bocaue, Bulacan 3018
Contact Numbers:  (0917) 8401989; (0916) 9252804
E-mail:  brothersofmercy_fm@yahoo.com
Website:  www.brothersofmercyfm.blogspot.com

Take a peek at what they do in this YouTube video below:

"I saw them so poor and ill-cared for that they broke my heart." - St. John of God

Open Letter to GMA News & Public Affairs

This is an open letter addressed to GMA-7 by our Courage head Brother Rollie regarding the Makati incident where a group of transgenders were denied entry in an establishment. I also caught this TV interview with Danton Remoto and as always I have this impression that pro-gay groups such as Ang Ladlad are quick to pick this kind of news and make a big deal out of it and thus make it seem like the gay community is yet another "victim" of "discrimination" in society. And what a wise move for Danton Remoto to use this kind of media exposure to advance his agenda of legislating the Anti-Discrimination Bill. For GMA-7, I guess it's also high time to examine if you are truly living up to your tagline of "walang kinikilingan" as I'm also getting the impression that you are biased in presenting gay issues like this or maybe you guys don't really know much about how to deal with it. Anyway, I hope this open letter gets your attention.


To: GMA News and Public Affairs

I like your tagline "Walang kinikilingan, walang pinoprotektahan, serbisyong totoo lamang".

However, in your morning program Unang Hirit this morning, I think you were biased (consistent with how you always treat the issue of homosexuality) in favor of the LGBT community.

This is about the "discrimination" case about transgenders who were not allowed entry to an establishment in Makati. There was already a news feature about this, but you even more stressed the "victim mode" of the LGBT community by interviewing Danton Remoto of Ang Ladlad during the Talakayan with Arnold Clavio segment. I think this was unnecessary, though I guess it was an early plug-in promotion of this partylist group wanting to have a seat in Congress.

I am leading a group called Courage Apostolate Philippines chapter, of persons with same-sex attractions, but who chose not to live out the gay lifestyle but live a chaste life. I would like to make three (3) statements regarding this issue.

1. A right of one group of persons that undermines the right of another group of persons is not authentic human right.

When you upheld the right of the transgenders to party and have fun in any bar that they want, you undermine the right of an establishment to make their own rules and policies. If an establishment has rules and policies, the public must abide by those rules and policies, and not insist that they have the right over the establishment. If an establishment chooses to break its policies in favor of an angered party, this establishment must open itself to break its rules on any other party. This means to say if an establishment has rules regarding no crossdressing and no sandos and sandals - if they allow crossdressers to enter their establishment because they become offended by its rules, they must also allow those in sandos and sandals to enter as well.

I admire Icon bar for apologizing that they have offended the feelings of transgenders. But they should not bend to the whims of any group to change their rules for fear of offending anyone. Otherwise, we will just live in anarchy and paranoia, worried that another advocacy group would appear challenging our rules and policies.


2. Discrimination in its purest sense must be against classification of persons based on substantial distinction and not superficial difference.

The Anti-Discrimination Bill pose a danger because it draws from a flawed logic. Sexual orientation and gender identity should not be compared to skin color or racial attributes, because these are behavior-based and not on characteristics with relative permanency. One may not choose to have same-sex attraction, but what we do with this attraction is by itself a choice! In Tagalog "Hindi mo man piniling maging bakla, pinipili mong magpakabakla at manatiling bakla".

Because this dangerous bill defines discrimination as "actual or perceived", and there is no clear distinction or attribute if a person is part of the LGBT community or not, ANYONE could pose as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender and claim that they are being discriminated against! So that means an employer, an establishment, a church or anyone who goes against the whims of the LGBT community can be sued with discrimination cases. So that means anyone could just claim to be an LGBT member and get away with lawsuits in the name of discrimination.


3. Ang Ladlad partylist does not represent all members of the homosexual community.

We are persons with same-sex attractions - we share this character with everyone in the LGBT community. We share in their dream of being accepted by society. But we are in opposition with all the principles of the Ang Ladlad partylist. We do not believe that anyone is born a homosexual. We do not believe that advancement of the people's understanding of homosexuals is made through laws that strikes fear in a person's heart, but an education on the true pastoral care of homosexual persons. We do not accept homosexuality as our end, but see it as the surface and symptom of the deep wounds and hurts sustained in a person's gender security. We do not accept that celebrating gayness is the way to happiness, but knowing one's true self as God sees us. We do not accept the defeat of our sexuality through what other people say we are, but we fight for our right to change!

We exist. We thrive in the protection of our God whom we dearly called Father - for He is not a genderless God.

* Aftercall - http://aftercall.webs.com/


* Bagong Pag-asa - http://www.bagongpagasa.org/


* Courage - http://couragerc.net/

http://www.couragephilippines.blogspot.com/


* Ichtus Community - http://castingthenets.blogspot.com/


You, like all popular mass media, have always highlighted the plight of the LGBT community. But you have yet to explore our own struggles, our own victories, our own lives that are offered as an alternative lifestyle - an option, to persons with same-sex attractions.

We challenge you to feature us in your programs - in full length, and not just sandwiched in your pro-gay agenda.
See our groups thriving amidst the gay culture which you so adamantly promote.

May God bless and keep you!

On Fasting & Abstinence

The Lenten Season is once again here in our midst ushered in by the imposition of ashes today. I don't know many people who look forward to Lent maybe except for those planning to take a long vacation on Holy Week and it's sad because Lent is a special season of grace. It is an invitation for all of us to take a good hard look on ourselves and examine our spiritual life which is not easy because we are confronted with the idea of giving up something. In short, Lent is a great opportunity for self-renewal, conversion, and deepening of one's faith. But how many Catholics nowadays take Lent seriously?

Take fasting and abstinence for example. Ash Wednesday like Good Friday is a day of fasting and abstinence. Catholics aged more than 14 are required to abstain from meat and those aged 18 to 59, (excluding the sick, infirm, pregnant/nursing mothers) are required to abstain and fast (that is, eat only one full meal and very little in between). But look around and you'll see fastfood stores and meat vendors in the market and grocery stores selling meat on that day. There was a time not long ago when Fridays especially Fridays of Lent were days of abstinence. I still vividly remember this when I was a kid because calendars back then had fish on Fridays stamped in red. Now, the days of abstinence and fasting are only imposed on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday.

But on a deeper level, fasting and abstinence is much more than food deprivation. Fr. Lawrence Mick, writing for the American Catholic newsletter, comments:

"It is often an aid to prayer, as the pangs of hunger reminds us of our hunger for God. But fasting without changing our behavior is not pleasing to God...fasting should be linked to our concern for those who are forced to fast by their poverty, those who suffer from the injustices of our economic and political structures, those who are in need for any reason. Fasting can help us realize the suffering that so many people in our world experience every day, and it should lead us to greater efforts to alleviate their suffering."

Lent is also a special time of prayer and performing good works, which hopefully we still do even after Lent is over. Let us take advantage of this season to also examine ourselves and our relationship with God and with one another, scrutinize our areas of weaknesses, and resolve to lead a more Christian way of life. If we cannot find time to do these things during Lent, I assure you we won't be able to find time for these at any other time of the year.

Visit also this link to find out how you can better prepare for Lent.

Ash Wednesday by the way is not a holy day of obligation, but it would be nice if we can go to Mass on that day as this fulfills the Gospel call to prayer during Lent.


"All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return." - Ecclesiastes 3:20

Help Typhoon Sendong Flood Victims

A few days ago Typhoon Sendong devastated my countrymen in Northern Mindanao that left 569 (and counting) dead and hundreds still missing and leaving in its path ravaged homes and properties. Thousands of families are now housed in evacuation sites. This Christmas let us share with them the true spirit of the season.

I collected these info online where you can send your donations:

1. Philippine National Red Cross

Call Hotline 143 or (+632) 527.0000. You can also visit this site for your donation.

** SMART Subscribers -- Text RED <20, 50, 100, 300, 500 or 1000>, send to 4143
** GLOBE Subscribers -- Text RED <5, 25, 50, 100 or 300>, send to 2899

2. ABS-CBN Sagip Kapamilya

Address: ABS-CBN Foundation Inc. Building Mother Ignacia Ave., corner Eugenio Lopez St.,
Quezon City
Trunkline: +632-415-2272 loc 3765
Direct line: +632-411-4995
Email: sagip@abs-cbn.com
Website: www.sagipkapamilya.com
Fax No: +632-411-4995
Warehouse: ABS-CBN Foundation Sagip Kapamilya Warehouse(Edongs)
#137 Mother Ignacia Ave., Quezon City

3. GMA Kapuso Foundation

Address: 2nd Floor GMA Kapuso Center, GMA Network Drive cor. Samar Street Diliman, Quezon City 1103 Philippines
Telephone: (632) 982.7777 loc. 9901 / 9904 / 9905
Telefax: (632) 928.9351 / (632) 928.4299
E-mail: gmaf@gmanetwork.com
Website: www.kapusofoundation.com

4. World Vision Philippines

You can direct your donations to this site.

Website: www.worldvision.org.ph

5. Caritas Manila

For Cash Donations:

Account Name: Caritas Manila, Inc.
BPI Savings Account: 3063-5357-01
Metrobank Savings Account: 175-3-17506954-3
BDO Savings Account: 5600-45905
PNB Current Account: 10-856-660001-7.

For Dollar Account:
BPI Savings Account: 3064-0033-55
PNB Account No.: 10-856-660002-5

Website: www.caritas.org.ph

6. La Salle Green Hills

Donations in cash and kind can be received at Gate 2 of La Salle Green Hills at 343 Ortigas Avenue, Mandaluyong City 1550. You may also call any of the following telephone numbers for further inquiries:

Aluimni Office — 721-2729, 722-7750, 725-4720
GS Principal — 721-2482
HS Principal — 721-8914
Buildings and Grounds Office — 721-8904 (Telefax)
La Sallian Mission Office — 726-5851 (Telefax)

7. De La Salle Canlubang's Lasallian Mission Office is accepting cash donations for the victims of the flash floods in Iligan and Cagayan de Oro. Check donations are accepted as well. All donations will be coordinated with the Lasallian Mission Office of De La Salle Santiago Zobel School.

La Salle Academy (Iligan City) is accepting cash donations to help the victims of typhoon Sendong.

Development Bank of the Philippines
Account Name: La Salle Academy
Account Number: 0820-016221-030.

Notes:
1. Please make cheques payable to La Salle Academy.
2. Kindly make a digital copy (or digital photo) of the deposit slip and email this digital file to Br. Raffy Reyes FSC (President of LSA) raffyreyes1018@gmail.com AND Br. Dennis Magbanua FSC (President of DLSZ) brodennis@gmail.com for proper documentation and accounting.

8. Gawad Kalinga

Gawad Kalinga Philippine Peso Current Account
# 3101 0977 56 BPI EDSA Greenhills

Gawad Kalinga US$ Savings Account
# 3104 0162 34 BPI EDSA Greenhills
Swift code: BOPIPHMM

9. Xavier University

1) Bank Deposit

Account Name: Xavier University
Account Number: 9331-0133-63
BPI MAIN BRANCH

2) CASH/CHEQUE:

Direct deposits may be made online from any BPI branches, pay to:

SIMBAHANG LINGKOD NG BAYAN (Account Name/Payee)
Bank of the Philippine Islands (Loyola-Katipunan Branch)
BPI Peso Checking Account Number: 3081-1111-61
BPI Dollar Savings Account Number: 3084-0420-12

10. Smart

Smart Money: Donors to Typhoon #Sendong may help through Smart Money acct. no. 5577-5130-6822-1104 at any BDO, Hapinoy or Cebuana Lhuillier outlets.

11. Globe

Gcash: For GCASH, donate through Red Cross by texting DONATE MPIN REDCROSS and send to 2882.

12. One Meralco Foundation

One Meralco Foundation is accepting cash & in-kind donations in G\F Lopez bldg, Meralco Center, Ortigas. Call 6328301, look for Joy.

13. News5 Aksyon Center.

Address: San Bartolome, Novaliches, Quezon City.
Telephone: 938-6393.

Cash donations may be sent through the following bank accounts:

BDO Peso Account
Account name: TV5 Kapatid Foundation Inc.
Account No. 005310-410164

BPI Peso Account
Account name: TV5 Kapatid Foundation Inc.
Account No. 1443-05333-2

14. LBC

LBC is accepting relief goods for the victims of Typhoon Sendong and will be delivering them for free to Cagayan de Oro and Iligan. You may drop off your donations to any LBC branch nationwide or for inquiries, please call their hotline at (632) 8855999.

You can also send food items, drinking water, used clothing, blankets, medicines, cash and what you have to the following dropping centers:

Cagayan de Oro City and Misamis Oriental:
Panday Bulig Relief and Rehabilitaion Center
Tabang Mindanao Center
12th-22nd streets, Nazareth
9000 Cagayan de Oro City
T/F: +63 (88) 856 6413
E: pandaybulig@gmail.com
(look for Ms. Beryl Tranco)

Iligan City:
Rural Missionaries of the Philippines
Northern Mindanao Sub-Region
Room 01, Kalinaw Lanao Center
0016 Bougainvilla Puti, Villaverde
9200 Iligan City
T/F: +63 223 5179
E: rmpnmr@gmail.com
W: www.rmp-nmr.org
(look for Ms. Ida Melody Bucog)

Bukidnon:
Bukidnon Peoples' Center
1st Floor, Montero Residence
Purok 4, Pantaron St.
Poblacion, Valencia City
Mobile #: 0926-592-1806
(Contact Zaldy Galamiton)

Dropping Center in Metro Manila:
c/o StartArt Project
10A Alabama st New Manila Quezon City
Mobile: +63926 7112450
email: info@startartprject.org or nikkiluna@startartproject.org

For cash donations, please send to this account:

Bank Name and Address:
Bank of the Philippine Islands (BPI)
Quezon Avenue branch, 9200 Iligan City, Philippines

Account number: 009359-1348-08

Swift Code: BOPIPHMM

Account Name and Address:
RMP-NMR Inc.
Room 01, Kalinaw Lanao Center for Interfaith Resources 0016 Bougainvilla Puti, Villaverde Iligan City 9200, Philippines

Single and Blessed

What is wrong with being single? Nothing. What is wrong with being in your 30s? Absolutely nothing! But when those two come together - single and 30 something, people are starting to wonder why. And add one more thing - single, in your 30s, and struggling with SSA. These are the sort of things I try to avoid when dealing with people. Tomorrow is the wedding of my youngest brother and I will be his best man. I can already anticipate the big question that perhaps some well-meaning family friends and relatives might ask of me - "When is it going to be your turn?" I'll probably say, "Maybe in the next 10 years or so. You see, P-Noy is still a bachelor until now, so I guess I'm in good company." My policy? - Don't ask, don't explain.

This must be one of the reasons why I avoid social gatherings like class reunions, weddings, and family gatherings like a plague. I personally feel I don't have any obligation to explain why I'm still single until now or why I don't even have a girlfriend. (You see, I'm a certified member of the NGSB club (no girlfriend since birth) and believe it or not NBSB as well. I wish I can tell them straight but I fear that they are not just ready. I pray that when the time comes I will be emotionally ready and that they will understand and accept me still unconditionally.

Last November I had the chance to attend Kerygma Conference 2011 under the Single Blessedness stream. I was surprised to find a fellow Courage brother there. At least I was not alone. I noticed that the majority of the attendees were women and I felt quite out of place. There were a handful of men though.

Among the four speakers who gave talks, I was most impressed with Dr. Beth Melchor. She remains to this day a single lady and she seems to be having the time of her life! Most of her life she has dedicated in doing God's work and has found immense joy in doing so. She exuded an aura of confidence and fulfillment in her countenance and her life was so overflowing with joy she was ever so ready to surrender it to God at any moment. What a woman! Why did she choose to be single? She said it was her vocation from the very start. She thought of entering the religious life, but felt that God was not calling her to it. She elaborated two examples from the Bible for those who are discerning this road less traveled. One is that Our Lord Jesus Christ chose this vocation for Himself and that in the afterlife (heaven) the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage. She also compared her vocation to that of a 'pearl of great price'. When asked about growing old alone she said we shouldn't worry about the future and let God take care of that detail and that she had no regrets whatsoever because she has dedicated all her life to the service of God and fellowmen. After the talk, I couldn't help but be inspired by this woman who is a living testimony of a life well lived and a cancer survivor as well.

So I guess being single is not that bad after all. A person who pursues this path is single but not necessarily alone and blessed because the source of that blessedness comes from Christ, who gives purpose and meaning to our lives whatever road we choose to travel on.


"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost

Our True Identity

Do we know the truth of who we really are? We must have a firm grasp of our true identity if we are to live our life fully because our purpose is intricately intertwined with our true identity.

Our faith teaches us that we are God's beloved sons and daughters by order of grace, but how many of us are living out this truth? I bet most of us fail constantly to claim this fact of who we are. It is a big challenge indeed to live up to the fact that we were created in the image and likeness of God (Imago Dei) because too many voices are contradicting us and telling us otherwise.

Whenever you introduce yourself to others, what do you tell them?

Henri Nouwen, a renowned Catholic priest, preacher, and writer, says there are three generalizations that we often use to base our identity:

1. I am what I do.

2. I am what others say about me.

3. I am what I have.

Quoting him further, he says:

"Quite often, a lot of your and my energy goes into "I am what I do," "I am what others say about me," "I am what I have." And you know, when that's the case, our life becomes a repetitive up and down motion. Because when people speak well about me and when I do good things and when I have a lot, I am quite up and excited. But when I start losing, when suddenly I find out that I can't do anything anymore, when I suddenly find out that people talk against me, when I find that I lose my friends, I might slip into depression and be very low. And before you realize it, you and I are on a zigzag. Up and down. And most of our work, our mental energy is an attempt to stay above the line, and we call that surviving. We want to hold on to our good name, hold on to some good work, hold on to our property, but we know that in the end there is the word that says, "We are going to die after all."

And you know, when you live this kind of life, with all these ups and downs, the end is death. And when you are dead, you're dead. Nobody talks about you anymore, you don't have anything anymore, you can't do anything anymore. You lose it all. And that little life of yours and mine has come to nothing. And what I want to say to you today is that this whole thing is wrong. That that is not who you are, and it is not who I am."


I will add the fourth one and many people believe in this lie - "I am my struggles."

Whenever I see gay men dress up like women and surrender their life to the gay lifestyle I feel sad because they were made to believe that their SSA (same-sex attraction) struggle is the way they should be, that they were "born that way". They say they are just being "true to themselves" and there's nothing they can do about it. "It's just who I am" they say. This is me. Or is it?

To dispute this big lie, let us go back to the most basic and fundamental truth of our being: God created each one of us in His own image and likeness.

Ah, how many times have you heard that Bible verse before, but have you taken the time to "feel" the truth of that statement? Have you allowed it to sink deep enough into your consciousness to allow it to take root?

Here is what I personally believe. Struggles do not define who you are because struggles can be overcome by the grace of God. Same-sex attraction is a struggle, a cross, that I have; it is not who I am. I am more than my struggles and I am destined for greater things beyond this life.

You have no idea how incredibly liberating that statement is for me. It sets the stage for me to reclaim my "true self" and reaffirm my masculinity. This is perhaps one of the biggest realizations that I have in my SSA journey. "I am not my struggle." - a very simple but powerfully affirming statement. "I am the beloved son of my Heavenly Father, created in His own image and likeness, endowed with great dignity, and an heir to His Kingdom."

Once we have that kind of realization, we can let go of the things, labels, and behaviors that do not conform with our new-found identity. For someone with SSA, that could mean you need not to wear girly clothes, act in effeminate ways, or be in emotionally dependent relationships with other men anymore. You are a son of God. You are already loved fully and unconditionally. Only Someone who created you out of His infinite wisdom and love can bestow upon you your truest identity and dignity as a person, as a man or woman of God. Outside of this, everything else is a false identity.

I know all these things are not easy. But here is another realization that I had lately: "The more we act in accordance with the "Imago Dei" (our image and likeness with God), the freer we become." This statement is so true my friend. The more we conform our life in accordance with God's law, the more our life becomes joyful, meaningful, and purposeful. This is authentic freedom. The sexual promiscuity and licentiousness that the gay life teaches us, while on the one hand is full of thrill, excitement, and allure, puts us in bondage to sin, addiction, debauchery, and moral degradation. It does not fill our deepest need and leaves us terribly empty and unfulfilled. Only God can satisfy our deepest longings and desires because we are made for Him and we will only find our true purpose nowhere else but in Him.

Now that we have re-affirmed our true identity, let us all strive to live up to this truth. Only in this way can we ever find lasting peace and deep serenity no matter what.

Choose Your Pain

Nobody in this life is a stranger to pain. It is an unescapable reality. As far as I know everybody struggles with something in their life.

An obese man who keeps on eating unhealthy foods and practicing a sedentary lifestyle knows he will have to pay for it sooner or later. He eats like there is no tomorrow and because he is fat he barely has the energy to move around as a result. It does not matter to him what food he eats as long as it suits his taste buds and his belly is full. Because of his size he must have probably experienced some sort of ridicule and insult pertaining to his weight. He has probably heard from well-meaning friends and relatives a million times to watch his diet and exercise more often, but he continues on with his daily routine.

A sex addict caught into his late night habit of viewing internet porn when everyone else is asleep says to himself that it is just a harmless past time and that he is not hurting anyone. Over time, not content with just viewing porn and masturbation, he suddenly finds himself wanting to "act out" what he sees on the internet with another person. He searches online for hook-ups and now engages in one night stands with strangers. A few of his close friends counsel him regularly not to engage in such risky behavior but he ignores them, choosing instead to exact as much pleasure as he can get from his sexual escapades.

In both situations given above, choosing the pain of change is the most logical recourse if one wants to find himself in a better place.

Sure, it is the most uncomfortable thing in the world to do and ingrained habits do not disappear overnight. This might require you to make substantial lifestyle changes and personal sacrifices on your part and I understand that some people would rather stay where they are and do nothing about the situation...until it is all too late.

And this is where the second type of pain comes in - the pain of not changing - the pain of regret.

The obese man may choose to eat all the unhealthy foods he wants until he gets fatter and fatter and finally ends up having a stroke or heart attack. At this point, he realizes the extent of the damage to his health. He also realizes what a great burden he is to his family and loved ones. He now regrets it. The damage to his health is severe and he realizes if he had only made some adjustments to his eating habits and lifestyle, he is in a much better health condition now.

Meanwhile, the sex addict continues to engage in risky sexual encounters with prostitutes and strangers, ignoring the advices and warnings of the few people who know his struggle. One day his family discovers his sexual exploits and they left him out in the cold. To complicate the situation, he begins developing some flu-like symptoms, malaise, and unexplained weight loss. He later finds out he is HIV positive. Now he is totally devastated.

The situations I mentioned above do happen to real people and are meant to illustrate my point.

In whatever struggle we find ourselves in, the wise choice is to always choose the pain of change. I must tell you that it is going to hurt. Pain accompanies change. Habits are indeed hard to break.

But by making deliberate and positive steps, we can eventually correct the situation. The obese man may opt to stick to a health and fitness regimen suited to his condition. He will need to give up some unhealthy foods and opt for more healthful ones. Over time, this can result in a healthier and stronger body, thus minimizing the risk factors that can lead to serious and life-threatening illnesses.

The sex addict, coming to terms with his sexual addiction and acknowledging his need for help, may choose to seek the help of a pastor, a counselor, and a support group. Support from his family will also be of great help for him on his quest to achieve sobriety.

On the other hand I believe that the pain of regret is much more painful and costlier than the pain of change.

The pain of regret is comparable to the feeling of losing something of great value because of one's own fault and being deprived of the chance to gain it back again. It is a most painful kind of experience. I would like to compare it to the pain of loss that a damned soul endure in hell. In that awful place he has lost God which is his highest good for all eternity, he is in extreme torment, and he has no hope or opportunity whatsoever to change his situation and regain what he has lost. Now that is really painful.

We all have a choice. The good news is that we can choose the pain we want to endure. We can choose to change now while there is still a chance or we can choose to persist in our ways and be sorry for them later. The choice is ultimately ours. I hope we make the 'right' choice.

Merry Christmas!

Just wishing everyone a joyful Christmas! Thank you dear blog visitors for dropping by our blog this past year. I will be going on a brief hiatus and will resume posting January 2011.

God bless us all.

Farewell, Bro. Joe

Brother Jose "Joe" Garcia, former president of Courage Philippines and founder of Ichthus Community passed away yesterday, August 31, 2010, at around 7:15 p.m. after eight months of battling stage IV lung cancer with metastases to the bones. His remains will be brought to his hometown Malabon and transferred to Baclaran and UST Chapel for viewing of community friends, students, and colleagues. He will be cremated on September 7.

Bro. Joe's unique calling to the SSA ministry led him to proclaim the truth about homosexuality to the secular world at large and offered hope to people struggling with SSA that change is possible. He is a loss to our cause. I enjoin you to offer prayers for the eternal repose of his soul. Bro. Joe Garcia was my first mentor in this healing journey.


"Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let your perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in your peace. Amen."

Lessons From The Retreat

It never ceases to amaze me that somewhere in Manila there are actually two churches located inside the same compound just a few feet away from each other. The place I am referring to is Bustillos Street in Sampaloc, Manila where you find the Church of Our Lady of Loreto and Church of St. Anthony of Padua. More amazing for me still is the fact that a secluded retreat house is sandwiched between the two churches named simply as St. Joseph Retreat House - a relatively small, simple, and quiet place to retreat without leaving the city. This post won't be long. I just want to share the lessons I learned from our retreat. These topics are actually taken from Henri Nouwen's book (In The Name of Jesus) and I urge you to read all of his books for spiritual refreshment and enlightenment. Although these lessons/temptations are somewhat more applicable to Christian leaders, the faithful in general can find subtle ways in which these can fit in to their Christian way of life.


Lesson #1: The Temptation To Be Relevant

- And the tempter came and said to Him, "If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread." (Matthew 4:3)

- To succumb to this temptation means to do something that is needed and can be appreciated by people, to make productivity the basis of our ministry, which can lead to preoccupation with products, visible results, tangible goods, and progress.

Reflection: In my experience keeping this blog, I sometimes get discouraged when I do not see the results that I hope to see from my readers, especially those in the gay lifestyle. After more than a year of posting articles here, I could hardly see those in the gay lifestyle coming in to join our ministry. Where are they? They are most probably having a "good time" out there. I sometimes get discouraged to continue this work because I am equating success with visible results. I forget to consider that I am just merely an instrument of God and the work of Courage is God's work. Who knows how God works in the hearts of men? It really boils down to the question of whether 'Am I doing this work for the love of God or am I treating this like work where being productive is my sole preoccupation?

- Let God's Word shape and reshape us as human beings, to feast each day on His Word, to grow into free and fearless people. Thus, we can continue to witness in this world, even when there are fewer or no visible results.


Lesson #2: The Temptation To Be Spectacular

- "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written: "'He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'" (Matthew 4:6)

- To succumb to this temptation means to force God to respond to the unusual, the sensational, the extraordinary, the unheard of - and then to force people to believe.

Reflection: I can relate this temptation to my desire to show off and to be the center of attention because by doing so I get the approval that I long for. It satiates even for a moment my need to be needed, approved, praised, honored, consulted, extolled, and preferred to others. It is my tendency to focus on the superficial rather than delve on the essential, the external rather than the core of who I am as a person. This temptation is common among persons with SSA because the majority never got affirmed in their true identity as beloved sons and daughters of God. Jesus, before he was tempted in the desert, was affirmed by His Heavenly Father as His "beloved son" during his baptism at Jordan River. We too need to claim and constantly reclaim the truth of our belovedness and cease identifying ourselves with our SSA struggle and false self.


Lesson #3: The Temptation To Be Powerful

- "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me." - Matthew 4:9

- To succumb to this temptation means to make ourselves believe that striving for power and wanting to be of service are for all practical purposes, the same thing.

- Power can take many forms. These are always to get some sense of security and control, and strengthen the illusion that life is mine to dispose of. More power can eventually fulfill my needs. I cannot remain powerless when I am surrounded by so much power.

Reflection: This temptation to be powerful has something to do with manipulation. Am I manipulative? It questions the real motive behind our "generosity" towards others. Am I just being generous/kind to this person because I expect to get something in return from him/her at a later time? Am I trying to control people and expect them to live up to my standards? Am I trying to buy affection from someone by lavishing him/her with material gifts? I guess these are some of the hard questions we need to ask ourselves to find out if we are doing the right thing with pure and right intention.

-oOo-

*My Berakah
(Prayer of Praise to Almighty G-d)

Blessed be the Lord G-d lover of my soul and consolation of my afflicted heart.
With all the humility I can muster I praise Thee for Your unconditional love for me.
Nobody has such great a love as yours that I desire in return to love Thee as much as I can.

Blessed be the Lord G-d whose mercy and kindness towards me is so immense.
Even though my sins are great and faults too many, Thy infinite mercy is much powerful still.
Sustain me in my struggles, enlighten me in my doubts, strengthen me when I am faltering.

Blessed the Lord G-d the wellspring and fountain of divine grace.
Grant me a faith that can move mountains, a hope that aspires for nothing else but Thee, and a love for Thee so intense it sets my whole being on fire. Amen.

(*I composed this prayer during our retreat.)

-oOo-

Pahabol:

G-d has a message for all of us in Courage: "UMAYOS KAYO!"

P.S. Thanks to all who attended the retreat. I learned a lot from you guys. 'Til next time.

Courage Retreat

Dear Friends,


We in Courage Philippines will be having our annual overnight retreat this weekend somewhere in Manila. The theme is about "The Desert Experience" and will be facilitated by our very own Bro. Rollie. Please pray for the success of this retreat. I am personally looking forward to this event for me to experience a deeper intimacy with God.

God bless us all!

Serenity

Catholics who don't go to Confession miss a lot of things. Besides missing on the opportunity to receive the grace of forgiveness, they also miss on the opportunity to know themselves in a deeper way and to discover their defects from the perspective of another person, in this case a priest.

That is what I received last Sunday after our monthly Sacrament Sunday with our spiritual director Fr. Dan. After confessing the litany of my misdeeds and sins for the past month, which he has already heard a million times from me before, he advised me to pray the serenity prayer often.

And then it struck me like a lightning bolt.

I discovered right there and then that I have this personality trait of insisting that things and persons should behave the way I see fit. Or else, it will greatly upset me to the point of casting unfair judgments and criticisms against others and thereby make myself miserable in the process.

Fr. Dan reminded me that I am living in a fallen world, an imperfect world, where there is disorder and disharmony that can turn my world upside down if I let it affect me too much. That although there are norms and rules that should be followed by everyone to preserve order, there will always be someone who is not going to go towards that direction. That I cannot expect people to act the way they should all the time because everyone grew up with different backgrounds and perspectives in life.

That is why I need to accept with serenity and total surrender that there are just things in this world that I cannot change no matter how much I want to. Other people will always hurt and offend you no matter how kind and sincere you strive to be towards them. People will always say bad things about you no matter how much you strive to do what is right. It is indeed really impossible to please everyone. Some people will always be on the other side of the fence and I just need to accept that as a fact of life.

Thus the prayer.

Let go and let God because the fruit of letting go is serenity.

Discover Your Core Gifts

Our teaching last week was about discovering one's core gifts. It's actually a talk given by Bo Sanchez. If you buy his book How To Conquer Your Goliaths (see picture), you will get a free audio CD of his talk on core gifts.

Have you discovered your core gifts? Do you have an inkling on what is it that you are born to do? Frankly, I am still clueless although I have a very vague hint.

Clue #1: If you are not happy and satisfied with your job, you're not attuned to your core gifts. True? Aminin!

Clue #2: If you do not have some measure of personal satisfaction or success in what you are doing, maybe you are better off doing something else.

Clue #3: When you cease growing as a person and lose passion for living, you also risk burying and losing the gifts that you have. Our gifts are not just meant to benefit us; it should be put at the service of others.

Oh by the way I just invented those clues, but there is a grain of truth hidden in each of them. One important realization I got from the talk is that there is more to life than SSA. There are other facets of our life that we need to develop and cultivate in order for us to become mature and well-rounded persons. The challenge for me is to find out these gifts and nurture them because they are my passport to finding joy and fulfillment in my life.

Right now I cannot say that I love what I do 100%. I pray that the searching will finally come to an end and I long to discover my place under the sun. Only then will I cease existing and start living.

What are your core gifts? Dig deep and search for it.

Remembering The Man and The 'Heartist'

The man behind the famous painting Hapag ng Pagasa (Table of Hope), Joey Velasco, passed away last July 20, 2010 after a protracted battle with kidney cancer. Though I only hear about him in the news, his "obras" challenge me to look beyond myself and be in touch with a bigger reality in our society.

When I look around me, I am disturbed to see young children in tattered clothes scavenging for plastic bottles, metal scraps, and anything of value that they can sell to the junk shop so that they have something to eat, when they should have been going to schools instead. I feel sorry for these kids and I feel powerless at the same time to be of real help to them because I know that beyond dole-outs and a bag of relief goods, what they really need is to have something to hope and aspire for in their future, a tangible means that can improve their life in the long run, a dignified way of living.

But perhaps what strikes me most about Joey is how his sickness had led him to find a deeper meaning and purpose to his life and how he used his remaining time since he was diagnosed with cancer to effect change in the lives of many people around him, specifically the Hapag children, whom he helped with scholarship grants and Gawad Kalinga homes. A truly amazing man!

Joey is survived by his wife and four children. His remains lie at Funeraria Nacional on Araneta Avenue, Quezon City. His interment will be on July 24, Saturday at 10 a.m. at the Loyola Memorial Park in Marikina. To see more of his "obras", visit his website at www.joeyvelasco.net. Here is a short tribute to the man and the 'heartist' courtesy of Probe by Ms. Cheche Lazaro.

Save Dr. Ken Howell

Dear blog readers,

I urge all of you to join and sign up to this Facebook account on Dr. Ken Howell: www.facebook.com/SaveDrKen.

Dr. Ken Howell taught classes in Catholicism at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. In one of his classes, he taught the Catholic Church teaches - based on its adherence to natural moral law - that homosexual acts are inherently disordered.

One of his students anonymously wrote a letter to the Dean stating that he violated the University rules of inclusivity which led to his subsequent termination.

To read more on this topic, please browse the last two weekly news updates on the blog.

This kind of academic persecution must STOP!

Red or White?

Today, July 6, the Church celebrates the feast day of St. Maria Goretti, a martyr for purity. I am sure most of you know her life story by now so no need to narrate her biography here. I was reflecting on her life and her relevance to the secular world of ours and I was preoccupied with the question of whether she is a red martyr or a white martyr. Obviously, we need to define the terms first. After googling for it, I came upon these explanations:

Red martyrdom occurs when a person sheds their blood for Christ. Throughout the history of the Church, there have been many of these brave souls who died rather than forsake the Lord. (e.g., first century Christian martyrs who were persecuted and fed to the lions, our very own San Lorenzo Ruiz who chose death rather than renounce the faith, etc.)

White martyrdom is a martyrdom without blood, without the violent taking of life. White martyrdom is a total offering to God, a “dying” to the world and its allurements. A white martyr willingly gives up worldly concerns and makes his or her life a perpetual pilgrimage. A white martyr lives a life of heroic devotion for Him alone, eagerly uniting that devotion with Christ’s sufferings.

I have come to conclusion then that St. Maria Goretti - although she died in defense of the virtue of purity - was actually a red martyr because there was shedding of blood. It is that the object of her martyrdom was not about faith in Christ but rather the defense of the virtue of purity.

Okay that is now settled. The big question for us now is "sa pula o sa puti"? Either way you will encounter violence of one kind or the other. Martyrdom is literally and figuratively dying to one's self in order to gain a life of complete and perfect union with God. Choosing chastity in our sex-crazy world for the love of God is one way we can live it and we must always remember the bravery and courage of St. Maria Goretti who chose death rather than sin.

-oOo-

Alan Medinger - Home, Rejoicing

I received this e-mail last week about the passing of Alan Medinger, a Christian leader and pioneer of the ex-gay movement. He is a big loss, but his books and writings will continue to inspire countless men and women to hope for change. Alan is one of my favorite SSA writers because of his balanced psychospiritual approach to the subject of homosexuality.


Greetings!

It is with great sadness I share with you that Regeneration's founder, Alan Medinger, passed away Monday, June 28th. Alan started Regeneration over three decades ago, and in the years that followed, he and his dear wife, Willa, were like a father and mother to literally thousands of men and women seeking help and hope, including me.

Alan passed away peacefully in his sleep early Monday morning. Many of you know about Alan's faithfulness in morning devotional times with the Lord. (He often said they were where all his newsletter articles came to him.) I have been thinking it was Jesus Himself who woke Alan on Monday, his faith now become sight.

We invite all of you to pray with us for Alan's family--his children, his grandchildren, and especially Willa--today and in the days to come.

Alan was a deeply loved man by many. For me, he was a mentor, a model of faith, a father, and my dear friend. Regeneration's board and staff are grateful for the trail he blazed, and honored to carry it forward as we together continue to follow the Lord.

In Christ's love,


Josh Glaser
Executive Director
Regeneration

To those who do not know Alan Medinger, click here to read his life story.

Pahiyas 2010

Last May 15 I and some fellow Courage brothers went to Lucban, Quezon for our outing to join the celebration of Pahiyas - a festivity in honor of San Isidro Labrador, patron saint of farmers, and whose wife Maria dela Cabeza I found out later is also a canonized saint. In the center of the town is the Parish Church of St. Louis Bishop of Toulouse, literally a stone's throw away from Bro. J's house. It is a magnificent structure that gives you the impression of a colonial Spanish stone church on the outside but not quite so in the inside. I was quite surprised to find out that he is the patron saint of that place and not San Isidro.

The main event is the Pahiyas walk, where we got to see entire rows of houses ornately adorned with multi-colored leaf-shaped edibles called kiping, various fruits and vegetables, coconut and rice products. It was a visual treat and you would regret it if you did not bring your camera as virtually everyone hops from house to house to have their photos taken despite the scorching heat of the afternoon sun.

And oh the food! I liked the longganisang Lucban with matching vinegar, the delectable pancit habhab, the crunchy 'kipings', mangoes, fruit salad, and cassava cake. Nabusog ako grabe!

Perhaps one of the more memorable event that happened to us was the unexpected jeepney ride from Quezon to Laguna. It was already the last trip for that night and we had no choice but to board on top of the jeep. It was my first time to do so and heck what a rollercoaster ride! The jeep drove along zigzaggy roads at speeds that would rival the fastest cheetah in Africa, unmindful of the deep ravines on both sides of our track that kept us at the edge of our uncomfortable seats and holding very tight to steel bars for the duration of the travel. The night sky was lit by a constellation of stars you don't normally see in the metro with the cold evening breeze pounding our faces. It was pure adrenaline rush and I loved every minute of it! We even had a picture-taking of this crazy ride. I would love to have the same kind of adventure next time. I dunno where but this experience gave me that exhilarating feeling of being fully alive - a far cry from my everyday routine and secluded existence. Gosh, can I not have this kind of experience more often?

A million thanks to Bro. J and his very hospitable family. I truly enjoyed the stay and the food and I am looking forward to returning next year (hopefully). Meanwhile, here are some of the photos I took.

Kamay ni Hesus Pilgrimage

Before we set ourselves to join the Pahiyas festivities, we visited first the Kamay ni Hesus Shrine, which is a jeepney ride away from our brother's home. There we were greeted with life-sized statues of saints and images of Our Lady. At the center of the shrine is the main church whether Fr. Joey Faller celebrates his healing masses every Wednesday and Saturday. People from all walks of life visit this shrine for physical and spiritual healing. It is not mere coincidence I guess that Kamay ni Hesus Shrine is located in the province of Quezon, which is a popular pilgrimage destination for such places as Mount Banahaw in Dolores, Quezon. Kamay ni Hesus Church is located at Barangay Tinamnan in Lucban, Quezon.

Located just beside the church is the majestic and imposing Via Dolorosa Grotto showcasing the 14 Stations of the Cross. On top of the 292-step grotto is the towering 50-foot statue of Christ, said to be the third largest statue of Christ in the world. (I don't know if this still holds true) It is a grueling climb to the top especially when the sun is at its peak, but nevertheless a good way to sweat it out because when you reach the top you are rewarded with the panoramic view of the province.

As you walk along the vicinity of the shrine, do not miss to visit the smaller grotto of Our Lady where life-sized statues of the 20 mysteries of the rosary are erected in close proximity to each other. There are also statues depicting Old Testament icons such as Adam & Eve, Moses, Abraham, etc.

To get the whole picture, do watch the slideshow below. If you are interested to visit the shrine, log on to Fr. Faller's website for more information or just follow these directions:

1. Take a bus route to Lucena at Kamuning Bus Terminal or LRT Buendia Bus Terminal.
2. At Lucena Grand Central Terminal take a passenger jeep route to Lucban.
3. Upon reaching Lucban, get off at Grotto.