Tuesday, May 5, 2009

A Psychogenetics Experience



This is a personal sharing of Bro. Rollie regarding the psychogenetics retreat he attended a couple of months ago. In the Philippines, Fr. Ed Fugoso, SVD, is offering weekend retreats through psychogenetics and Gestalt therapy in the light of the Gospels at the SVD Retreat House in Tagaytay City.


Last March 21-22, 2009 I had the opportunity to be part of a retreat conducted by Fr. Ed Fugoso SVD called "Psychogenetics and Gestalt Therapy". I shared this experience with a
group of dubbers on national television. At first I was apprehensive to be part of what I know is an intimate encounter with oneself with complete strangers, but when I got to
talk to some of them during breaks I was to able to befriend most of them and the apprehension left. In a getting-to-know small group session I was able to share my story with
a dubber who also has same-sex attraction (SSA) and so we were comfortable sharing the most intimate parts of our past lives with one another. I shared room with another dubber
who turned out to be a former Singles for Christ member (inactive) and who is a single father raising a daughter. I know then God has arranged for me to be part of this
retreat.

Most of the first day was devoted to learning key concepts about Psychogenetics and the role of our family of origin to our present reactions (especially in stressful
situations) as adults. Having studied guidance and counseling in my masteral studies facilitated my understanding of these concepts (which is best to be discussed in detail
during the retreat itself). In the afternoon we were given an exercise that would help us apply the psychogenetics concepts in our personal lives - tracing relationships
between and with our parents especially in our early years of 0 - 10 years old. Fr. Ed guided us in every step of the exercise, as it was crucial not to commit mistakes due to
misinterpretations or misunderstanding of his instructions. We had to know our own inner selves (inner child, inner parent, inner adult, inner mate, and inner couple) through
the proper accomplishment of the psychogenetics exercise. The exercise was revealing, and I myself was in tears when I realized deep emotions connected to my relationships with
my parents. The day concluded with a beautiful Eucharistic Adoration in Taize where we offered our painful as well as joyful realizations to our Lord. We had some bonding time
together in the small garden where my fellow retreatants and I exchanged ideas about the retreat (I had a good dose of second hand smoke from them that night hehe). Afterwhich
we had to call it a night while some of my scriptwriter-companions worked on their deadlines through the night, while others had to continue talking among themselves in the
corridors of the rooms. My room mate and I chose to go early to bed after an exhausting day (well not after we had our own share of story-telling with each other, until his
daughter called him up through his phone - that's my signal to sleep hehe).

In the morning, the good father then led us to an understanding of Gestalt therapy and how we can use the results of our exercise to "re-program" our cognition to develop
healthier interactions with other people. I have encountered Gestalt in my masteral studies, but it was great to be reminded of the concepts of this therapy that is aimed at
"integration". He then led us to three Gestalt techniques - imagery, role-playing and empty chair - which was a mixed emotion of joy and pain and of being disturbed. We each
had our experience with imagery - and we each had a chance to tell the tale (and the emotions that go along with it) of going back to our past. A volunteer came forward to
experience role-playing and the empty chair technique. He narrated his personal story based on our psychogenetics exercise and we helped him role-play the events of his life. He also had a chance to be processed by Father Ed using the empty chair technique and it was disturbing as I know it was liberating for him (the person was my partner the first day who also had SSA). I commented afterwards that even though I may have studied Gestalt in masteral studies, it was worth noting to see actual implementation of the said therapy, and it just confirmed my belief that this type of therapy is only for someone who is brave enough to be rigorously honest about himself and courageous enough to face the pain accompanying the freedom from certain behavioral patterns. We ended the whole process by a unity song and the celebration of the Mass by the good father.

The whole experience of the retreat gave me a new perspective about therapy and how we could integrate psychology with the practice of our spirituality. It helped me face my issues with my family of origin and I was able to appreciate them more and be thankful for what they have contributed to my life space.

Hope everyone could avail of this great experience! Although I am for a homogeneous grouping (for persons with SSA) in order for rigorous honesty to be attained, especially for persons who may not be comfortable sharing their SSA experiences with complete strangers.

God bless everyone.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Quotable Quote from St. Teresa of Avila

"There are things we fail to remember, not because we have short memories but because we are short of love. The person in love does not forget!"

-- St Teresa of Avila

Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Living Waters Program


Last year I was able to attend a three-day Living Waters retreat in Tagaytay City (Angels' Hills Retreat Center near the Pink Sisters Convent) along with other Courage brothers and sisters. It was a very memorable (and fun-filled) experience for me as local and international speakers gave talks and personal testimonies about their struggles and healing journeys. If you feel broken inside (as most of us are), this Christ-centered healing program is for you.


What is Living Waters?

Living Waters is a 22-week lesson on healing our broken relationships and sexuality taught in a closed group format. The trained leaders enforce a confidentiality policy to ensure a safe place for all participants.


Is Living Waters for me?

If the following statements describe your heart for hope and healing, then Living Waters can be for you:

* A desire to deepen your relationship with Christ
* A longing to see your family relate more closely in love
* A yearning for understanding of issues that shape the choices we and our loved ones make
* A willingness to break free from sinful patterns that have put you in bondage
* A desire to be a godly parent, spouse, child, friend, leader - all rooted in one's identity as a child of God
* A commitment to grow as a unique man or woman of God, allowing Him to reveal the good of your sexuality
* A courage to face the sinfulness of your present state and the painful realities that led you there


How is Living Waters presented?

Each three-hour weekly meeting includes:

THE WORSHIP OF JESUS - We focus our devotion and praise on God, not on our pain and problems.

THE WORD OF JESUS - Living Waters teachings combine biblical truths with psycho-spiritual insights for a better understanding of our deep need for God.

THE WORKS OF JESUS - To complement the church's Bible study groups and doctrinal teachings, Living Waters seeks to present truth with grace in the hurting areas of our lives. Through healing prayer in large and small group settings, we invite the Holy Spirit to heal our various wounds.

Foundational to Living Waters is the reality that God created us in His image as male and female. Thus great healing comes as men and women minister and receive alongside one another, thereby reflecting God's intention and character.


What will I discover?

Living Waters uses a detailed guidebook and supplemental readings designed to find God's presence in our brokenness. Some topics include:

* Acknowledging our need for God
* Receiving the Father's Love
* Who we are as men and women
* The Cross and confession
* Renouncing our idols
* Reconciliation between men and women
* Roots of gender brokenness
* Restoring the true self through the Cross
* Overcoming sexual addiction
* Embracing the Church as our healing community
* Building healthy relationships
* Walking as mature Christians
* Understanding and overcoming temptations
* Healing from sexual abuse
* How "The Fall" affects our sexuality and relationships


Why should I go to the Living Waters?

Because Living Waters addresses the reality that we are all broken in our ability to love. Its goal is to see our relationships, imagination and even sexual conduct find their center in Christ.

Through the worship, teaching, prayer, and small groups of Living Waters we learn about:

* God's powerful love for us and how Jesus is central to our hope for wholeness
* The depth of our brokenness and our profound need for Him
* The power of the Cross to restore our souls, sexuality, and relationships
* The process of walking out our healing
* Our place in the church and loving others honorably


For whom is Living Waters?

Living Waters applies to everyone, especially those struggling with shame, sexual addiction, pornography, emotional dependency, low self-esteem and self-hatred, unforgiveness, promiscuity, adultery, effects of sexual abuse and homosexuality.

Thankfully, Christ's capacity to touch and restore us at deep levels of shame and brokenness extends to all of us, regardless of the specifics of our issue.

Jesus said to His disciples: "Now that I have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet." (Jn 13:14). Living Waters is that part of the church where we can extend the lowliest parts of ourselves and there discover His compassion. Mercy and truth meet us. As we reveal our brokenness to others, Living Waters cleanses us and transforms us into the men and women of God's design. Dip into the Waters!

-------------------------------------------oOo -------------------------------------------------

Living Waters will be run by Living Waters Philippines, Inc., a healing ministry seeking to bring the transforming compassion of Jesus Christ to the hurting, the broken and the outcast.

Venue: Greenhills Christian Fellowship, Ruby cor. Garnet Roads Ortigas Center, Pasig City (behind Robinsons Galleria)

Date: May 26 - Oct 27, 2009
Tuesdays 6:30 - 9:30 pm

For fees & other details, please call or text 0919-5123526 or 0915-4958049

E-mail: info@livingwatersphilippines.org
Website: www.livingwatersphilippines.org

Deadline of submission for application is on May 17, 2009. We will be observing a strict NO INTERVIEW NO ACCEPTANCE policy. Thus, walk-ins will not be accepted on May 26 thereafter.

[Note: For our international blog visitors, Living Waters is also present in the US, Canada, and some parts of Asia. Do an online search to find a local LW ministry in your country. Thanks.]


"Whoever believes in Me, streams of living water will flow from within him." - John 7:38

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Professional Boxing - Immoral Sport?


I am posting this article in time for Pacquiao-Hatton superfight scheduled early next month. Personally, I never came to like boxing. It's just too physical for me. I prefer self-defense sports like karate or taekwondo. This article discusses the moral issues behind contact sports, boxing in particular, which has become a national affair of most Filipinos whenever their favorite pugilist Manny Pacquiao goes for mega-buck superfights against the world's best boxers. This is not good news for the likes of Pacquiao, etc.; nevertheless, the arguments against this sport are valid, logical, and reasonable. Even a leading Vatican journal (Civilta Cattolica) condemns the sport as "intrinsically immoral." Read on.


An early 1950s boxer Laverne Roach died from injuries sustained in a professional match. This was pugilism's first televised homicide—but not its last. Twelve years later, 15 million television fans had a double treat: they watched challenger Emile Griffith scramble the brains of welterweight champion Benny Paret beyond repair, and then saw a rerun of the climactic moments of this state-supervised slaughter in slow motion.

Thus boxing history repeated itself on March 24, just as it will do in the future until informed and out­raged public opinion demands the abolition of civilized man's most atavistic sport—the manly art of mutual mayhem. For mayhem lies at the heart of the prize­fighting game, as opposed to amateur and collegiate boxing where, whatever the incidence of injury, mishap comes about by accident or human malice, and not by the nature of the art.

Ringside requiems involve a predictable reaction ­ritual. The pugilistic massacre prompts an official in­vestigation that finally leads nowhere. Humanitarians clamor for protective devices or rules that will reduce the likelihood of ring tragedies. A few sports columnists call for the abolition of prizefighting. And increasingly, of late years, moralists and preachers seize on every ring slaughter as a chance to compose a homily on the immorality of the professional boxing game.

This last development is a hopeful one. For if all teachers of morality could convince themselves and their public of the immorality of professional boxing, the days of this brutal pastime would definitely be numbered.

A dozen years ago, in this country, Catholic moral­ists seldom directed their attention to the evils of a professional boxing career. Even if they did so, they were loath to condemn it because it seemed to have wide popular approval and to encourage the ideals of clean, disciplined living and hardy virility.

Today things are very different. Perhaps most of our moralists now think that of its essence professional boxing is irreconcilable with the gospel and natural law, and they do not hesitate to make their opinion known. In this they agree with the Vatican City radio and newspaper, both of which forthrightly condemned professional boxing after the Paret tragedy, not just because it is a hazardous career whose rewards are in­commensurate with its risks, but because it is wrong in its nature, aim and methods.

The basic reason why professional boxing is wrong is easy to grasp. It lies in the uniqueness of this activity: of all contemporaneous forms of sport in which man is pitted against man, professional boxing alone has as its primary and direct object the physical injury of the contestants.

This fact alone sets prizefighting apart from other sports, no matter how risky they are in themselves or how open to human malice. In amateur and collegiate boxing, presumably, the emphasis is on skill and dex­terity, and elaborate precautions are taken to make the danger of real harm remote. But injury in a profes­sional match is no accident. The very nature of the sport is that two career men, under contract, attempt to mutilate each other for gain. The opponents system­atically attack each other's physical features and organs in a mounting crescendo of mayhem that ideally termi­nates in a violent assault on man's most delicate organ, the brain. A successful assault ends in a moment of waking helplessness called a technical knockout, or, better still, a clean KO whose symbol is the supine gladiator with a mild concussion. Any less decisive climax gets short shrift from the gallery and contributes little to a fighter's career.

Thus professional boxing stands condemned even before the statistics are compiled on occasional ring deaths and the all-too-common. The gospel law of love does not permit brethren to exchange wanton violence for mere renown or profit. There is no charity in a licensed assault that unleashes the beast in the boxer and the sadist in the spectator. As for natural justice, we who have no right to mutilate ourselves for external gain certainly cannot endow others with the right to attempt mayhem upon us by virtue of a contract.

We will welcome the day when the American people finally reject professional boxing for good, and inter it by the side of cockfighting, bearbaiting and the pub­lic execution 'of criminals.


(Source: America - The National Catholic Weekly)

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Beauty and the blogger

This video shows Ms. USA runner-up Carrie Prejean defending the sanctity of marriage as that of being between a man and a woman that cost her the Ms. USA crown over the weekend. In that pageant, one of the judges, a radical gay rights activitist by the name of Perez Hilton, asked Ms. California about her stand on same-sex marriage. Her answer ignited a firestorm that obviously made Perez furious. Watch Ms. California's gracious and composed discussion of the controversy on MSNBC.



Ironically, Ms. California has received more postpageant media exposure and TV appearances than Ms. North Carolina, the crowned Ms. USA 2009. Just a question to Perez Hilton (by the way, are you related to Paris Hilton?): Since when was opposing gay marriage politically in-correct? Here is my favorite part of this interview:

News Anchor: "He said you gave the worst answer in beauty pageant history."

Carrie Prejean: "Oh, I don't think I gave the worst answer in beauty pageant history, but I didn't give the answer that he would have wanted me to give."

Well, I'll give you a perfect 10 score for that answer.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Think Positive - HIV/AIDS Documentary

Here is the GMA-7 News & Public Affairs special documentary on HIV/AIDS in the Philippines hosted by Ms. Vicky Morales. Wanggo Gallaga (HIV+), son of multi-awarded film director Peque Gallaga, was interviewed here.




Philippine HIV Testing Facilities:

1. San Lazaro Hospital
2. Philippine General Hospital
3. Research Institute for Tropical Medicine
4. Vicente Sotto Medical Center (Cebu)
5. Davao Medical Center
6. Ilocos Regional Training and Medical Center (San Fernando, La Union)
7. Baguio General Hospital
8. Zamboanga Medical Center
9. Corazon Locsin Montelibano (Bacolod)
10. West Visayas Medical Center (Iloilo)
11. Bicol Regional Training Hospital

Or the Social Hygiene Clinic of your city.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Confessions of an HIV+ Pinoy



It is my privilege to introduce my newfound friend, Dr. Elroi (not his real name). In this post, he is going to share with us intimate details of his life, his SSA struggle, his HIV story and how this event completely turned his life around for good. Dr. Elroi is a facilitator/lecturer of Channels of Hope, a World Vision program which trains and educates pastors and leaders of faith-based organizations about HIV/AIDS. He is currently traveling all over the Philippines for this noble mission.


This will be my testimony to our church when they are prepared and ready to hear this. The first time I told my story in front of people was during the workshop of "Channels of Hope" by World Vision last April. This is the longer and complete version.

A couple of years ago I have contemplated suicide several times but it never happened. I stand here before you today by God’s grace because He has a purpose for my life that I almost failed to see. Perhaps some of you noticed that, every time you ask me questions I can not give a direct answer. The reason is I am a bit scared of your possible reactions should I reply with an honest answer. I don't know how church people would react to someone in my situation. Now that I have experienced God’s redemption, I want to be free in this congregation by sharing with you my story.

January of 1999, 3 months after passing the licensure board examination for electrical engineers I was blessed to be offered a job and got employed by one of the multinational manufacturing firm as a production line engineer. I earned good money that I was able to help my parents financially and sent my younger brother to college.

June of 2001, my younger brother took his own life with a gunshot leaving us with no reason why he did such thing.

July of 2002, I have decided to leave the company I am working for and accepted the early retirement pay. I enrolled myself in a modeling institution for two years and did modeling projects for less than 4 years though this career did not really took off.

Early 2003, I started to put up my own business with my friend. It’s a food retail business that lasted only for less than a year leaving me with a couple of hundred thousand peso losses. In the same year, I lost more than half a million pesos in a pyramiding scam together with my friends who persuaded me to invest. This was the first time when I thought of committing suicide.

September of 2005, I have decided to apply for an immigrant visa to Australia to start a new life with the hope of recovering everything I have lost.

Early 2006, I got myself employed in a call center while waiting for the result of my application.

March of the same year, the immigration services informed me that my visa was ready to be released but I need to do my medical examination first. I had my medical exam done and then a week after, I received the most unexpected and worst news I could ever receive. The result of my HIV screening test was positive! The doctor called me on the phone and asked me to come back for another blood sample to repeat the test for confirmation. It did not surprise me that much but it was the last thing I have expected! I knew I had a few unprotected sexual encounters before, the reason why it was really possible. My initial reaction was to cry and suddenly I was so furious at God and asked why me? I have not stepped on anyone just to get what I wanted. I showed respect and kindness to people especially to my family and friends, I have stolen nothing, and I never killed anyone.

I prayed every night to give thanks to God, and asked for His forgiveness for the wrongs I have done. Why do I deserve this? There are many people out there who I think have done far worst things than I did but why me? For a couple of minutes I was so furious at God that I even swore at Him! I was trying to emerge from a great misfortune and migrating seemed to be my last hope for a better life. But now I can no longer migrate and work in another country for greener pasture as they say. My life seems to be a series of unfortunate events. My dream of giving my family particularly my parents a well-off kind of life has been shattered and I felt like I was broken into million pieces. That's why I was so furious and I felt like God was punishing me for all the sexual immoralities I have done. Then I realized that I was wrong and I immediately asked for His forgiveness, and asked Him to take care of me. I then cried for hours until I fell asleep hoping that when I wake up it was just a nightmare. The next day after work, I went to the hospital for confirmatory test and the doctor told me to wait for a month for the result. It was the longest one month of my life. October 2006, it was confirmed that I am positive with HIV!

At first, I had no idea what to do with my life and how would I tell this to my parents. I disclosed to a few trusted friends about my condition and I am blessed that they accepted me and did not judge me. I have decided to continue with my life as if nothing happened; but I felt like I was a dead-man walking for the next couple of months. I felt hopeless. Life has no value. I saw no way out; death became very appealing as I contemplated suicide for more than a dozen times. The problem was I just can't do it coz I know it would really hurt. But the biggest reason why I can't do it was; I have seen how my parents suffered emotionally when my younger brother took his life. If I did the same thing, I don't know how my parents will handle it this time. So, I told myself I can’t go on like this, I need to do something!

December of 2006, I decided to seek medical help. I was referred by a friend to an NGO that supports People Living with HIV. The doctor I talked to told me that there's an organization consists of people living with HIV or PLWH who can relate to me and give me the moral and emotional support that I need. From there I was linked on how to access free medical check-up at San Lazaro hospital where I met Dr.P. After the lab test determined how strong or weak my immune system was, the result indicated that I needed to start taking medication or ARV. Thus, a series of pre-trial counseling sessions with Dr. P ensued. She discussed how the medication works and its side effects and the details about HIV. Because the drugs have fatal side effects, Doc. P insisted that I tell my parents about my condition.

At first, I was so firm with my decision to handle everything all by myself and not to tell my family about it. I was eventually convinced, realizing that they have the right to know for the simple reason that they are my family no matter what. So 8 months after my diagnosis, I told my sister first about my condition of which she cried, and requested her to give my letter to our parents. I can't bear to see them hurting because of what happened to me that's why I opted to mention the details through a letter, in that way I won’t miss anything. I came home a week after. We didn’t talk about it but I was surprised to receive their letter of reply; understandably because, we don’t vocalize our thoughts and feelings to one another. Suffice that we know that we loved each other. The content of my parent's letter was enough for me to face this dilemma dauntlessly. The line where my father told me that he's willing to take my place if that disease can only be transferred brought so much tears to me coz for the first time, I felt that my father really loves me and my mother reassured me of her love. I was so thankful to God and felt so blessed with a very understanding and loving family!

August of 2007, I have started to bum around; Dr.P asked me to quit from my call center job coz it will gradually kill me. I left Manila and just stayed at home with my parents. It was during this idle season of my life when I began to contemplate about everything I have been through. I came to realize that all my actions and decisions have been motivated by my ambition to become wealthy and to be recognized. I wanted to give my parents a luxurious life after all the sacrifices they had done for us, to travel and visit parts of the world and the country with them, to have my own condo unit and a car, and probably my own business too. There's nothing wrong with that I guess, but I was so consumed by all of these desires that somehow I forgot about God! Yes I have thanked Him and asked forgiveness every time I prayed to Him every night, but it was obviously not enough.

Late 2007, my visit to Dr.P became frequent and every time she asked me how I am doing, I always tell her that I want to make something good out of my condition. I told her that I believed God has a reason and has a different plan for me why He did not allow my plans to succeed and let this tragic thing happen to me. I have started to look at the brighter side because that's the best thing that I can do so far about my situation. I began to ask not only myself but her as well as to what is the purpose of my life, why am I here and still alive if God will only hurt me by not giving me all that I have wanted even though He witnessed that I worked so hard for all of it. I thought my parents’ support was enough for me to move on but as the days passed, death became very appealing to me again. Out of desperation, I talked to Dr.P and then she took that opportunity to share me the Gospel of Jesus Christ. She told me that the Lord wanted me to completely surrender my life to Him and leave the kind of life I used to have and dreamed about. She prayed over me and instructed me to ask forgiveness with all my heart, and to accept Jesus Christ to be my personal Lord and Savior. I was very emotional that time that I cried for like half an hour coz I have felt I have nowhere left to go but only to Him. I am sick, out of job, homeless and totally destitute; it looks like God allowed all these things to happen to leave me no choice but Him since He knows that I am scared to commit suicide. And last December, I came to this church.

Being HIV positive became the turning point of my life. Through it I became a Christian. Now, I want this unexpected consequence of my sinful actions into something beautiful that will affect change not only to me but to others as well. I prayed that God will use me and give me ministry that will help stop the increasing number of people infected by HIV, and He answered.

April of this year (2008), I was so happy and blessed to be invited to participate in the workshop for Channels of Hope by World Vision. It was a facilitators training that aims to educate faith leaders on HIV and AIDS and eventually have them lead the de-stigmatization of the community and this country about this pandemic. This is a big task because we are tasked to educate faith leaders and the community as a whole about HIV and AIDS and the Christian response to this pandemic. Christian living is the answer to this problem, which is now my ultimate goal as a Christian with HIV. There are lots of patients out there who still continue to walk in darkness for reasons like they believe that they are sinners and God hates them. They want to approach church people but they are afraid that they will be mistreated and condemned; or perhaps they don't know how to approach God and children of God while the others simply choose to live their life on their own apart from God. I hope that our church will be one of the congregations that will embrace PLWH and help me or us to carry out this ministry as it entails a lot of work, planning and funding.

If you are going through a time of terrifying darkness and despair, or are plagued by doubts that are slowly eroding your hope that things can get better, I urge you to surrender it all to God; give Him full control of your life. It is the only way to live. Thank you.


Thank you, Dr. Elroi, for that powerful and inspiring testimony. We are supporting your worthy cause of educating people about HIV/AIDS. In response to this, I am posting on Thursday a special documentary on HIV/AIDS in the Philippines aired on GMA-7 a couple of weeks ago along with a list of testing centers in the country. Please watch out for this video clip.

Also, please do visit Dr. Elroi's blog to learn more facts about HIV/AIDS.