Two Sundays ago we had a talk on True Masculinity and True Femininity and for this week it's all about masculinity. This lecture provides additional inputs to that teaching in a concise and structured manner summarizing and highlighting all the relevant points of the discussion in numbers and bullets.
"WHAT IS TRUE MASCULINITY?"I. THE STRENGTH, LIFE AND HEALTH OF THE CHURCH DEPENDS LARGELY ON HOW WE AS MEN FULFILL OUR ROLES AS SPIRITUAL LEADERS.
A. The success of our homes and marriages depends greatly on the quality of our spiritual lives.
B. God has assigned and delegated to us a profound and sobering responsibility.
C. If we fail in our roles as spiritual leaders, our families will suffer and so will the character of the Church.
II. AS WE SHALL PROVE, GOD CREATED MAN FIRST AND MADE HIM TO BE THE HEAD— TO BE THE AGGRESSOR.
A. Under God's rule, he has been made responsible.
B. Whether or not he succeeds, depends on how well he discharges his calling and duty.
C. NOTE: When a marriage crumbles, first and foremost God holds the man accountable.
III. THE PURPOSE OF THIS LECTURE IS TO DEFINE THE MEANING OF TRUE MASCULINITY.
A. To describe the role that God intended for man to play.
B. To outline the job, calling and duties of a "real masculine leader."
C. To disclose the awesome responsibility God envisioned for man when He created Adam.
IV. LET US FIRST LOOK AT OUR TRAGIC, MIXED-UP WORLD TODAY.
A. Newspapers, magazines, TV & the movies picture men as henpecked dolts, dominated and ruled over by women.
B. They are weak in moral, mental and physical character.
C. By abdicating their roles, they have forced women into unnatural leadership positions, producing frustration, resentment and shame.
V. THIS SAD STATE OF AFFAIRS WAS PROPHESIED CENTURIES AGO.
A. Isa. 3:1-3 — "For behold, the Lord...doth take away...the mighty man, and the man of war, the judge...the captain of fifty, and the honorable man...."
1. The marginal reference for 'the honorable man' renders this phrase as a man eminent in countenance.
2. This phrase indicates that there would be a lack of men commanding respect (Soncino).
3. This has occurred today.
B. Isa. 3:4-5,12 — "As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them.”
1. These verses again show men to be unqualified for true leadership or rule.
2. They are as unqualified as children to rule, and are effeminate like women. (JFB.)
3. The fact that children can exalt themselves illustrates the appalling lack of true masculine leadership.
C. Isa. 3 :16-17 — "Moreover the Lord saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes...Therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion.”
1. These verses depict the state of mind of modern-day women.
2. Have they not become this way because men have relinquished their roles as leaders — a point so clearly emphasized throughout this chapter?
VI. CLEARLY, IN TODAY'S WORLD THE MAJORITY OF MEN HAVE LOST THEIR SPIRITUAL FIBER AND COURAGE AND HAVE TAKEN ON THE SOFT, WEAK AND EFFEMINATE CHARACTERISTICS OF WOMEN.
How vital it is that men in God's Church recapture the value and meaning of true masculinity.
VII. MODERN-DAY MISCONCEPTIONS OF MASCULINITY.
A. Before discussing the characteristics of a true masculine leader, let's examine some false ideas
and notions commonly held today.
B. What real masculinity is not:
1. A swaggering, super-confident macho type, like "The Fonz" on Happy Days.
2. A Schwarzenegger physique.
3. A strong and tough hero like Tarzan, Baretta, James Bond or Superman.
4. A suave, sophisticated playboy and modern-day swinger.
5. A crude and coarse pot-bellied drinker who swears and uses vulgar language.
6. The loud, boisterous, braggart who's forever extolling his virtues and advertising himself.
7. One who is arrogant and fiercely competitive and feels that he must win at all costs.
8. The know-it-all who enjoys intimidating others.
9. The man who's power hungry and who likes to control and order people around.
10. One who lays down the law and domineers, and rules his wife and children with an iron hand.
C. In general, the type who is selfish, arrogant and vain and who likes to impress others with his knowledge, exploits and skills.
VIII. A PROFILE OF TRUE MASCULINITY.
A. True masculinity is playing the role that God intended.
1. Man was physically designed and created to be the head and leader.
a. He has broad shoulders, strong muscles, a sturdy build and is heavier.
b. He is generally taller than the woman so that she has to look up to him.
c. He is virile, rugged and robust, and was designed for action and hard work — to be the protector and provider.
d. He has a deeper voice.
e. He has coarse and hairy skin.
2. God gave him a masculine mentality to match his physical frame.
a. He likes a challenge.
b. He's a planner with daring, aggressive and bold ambitions.
c. He's a deep thinker who likes to tackle and conquer problems.
d. He enjoys rough and rugged activities that test his agility and strength.
e. In short, he is equipped both mentally and physically to be the dominate figure and to lead the woman.
3. In contrast, the woman was designed both physically and mentally to assist the man.
a. She has a softer, more fragile and delicate body.
b. She is smaller in stature and is aptly described as the weaker vessel (I Peter 3:7).
c. Her natural interests (unless perverted) center around her home, family and general domestic duties.
d. She was created to be the man's helpmate and companion.
e. Since she was made from man, God instilled in her heart a desire to assist and please him.
4. Thus, the male was created, both physically and mentally, to lead the woman and be her head.
a. Gen. 2:18,21-24— "The woman was made for man."
b. I Cor. 11:3,8-9 — "Husband is head of the wife."
B. The general characteristics of a masculine leader.
1. Is God-fearing and deeply converted.
a. His supreme desire is to walk with God and keep Him at the center of his life.
b. As he grows in God's likeness, the natural qualities of true masculinity will emerge.
c. As he prays and studies, he will become more cognizant of his role and God-given responsibilities.
d. The negative traits of fear, shyness and inferiority will disappear.
e. Daily he should take on the masculine attributes of his elder Brother, Jesus Christ.
f. II Cor. 3:18— "But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord."
2. Has inner strength, character and stability.
a. He is unshakeable, unmoveable and deeply grounded in the truth.
b. He will not compromise his principles, yield to temptation, or break under pressure.
c. When trials beset him, he trusts God to the end.
d. This type of leader is respected by all and is known far and wide.
3. Is self-assured and confident.
a. This kind of confidence comes from faith in God and from a track record of experience and success.
b. It's a distinct manly trait that carries with it an air of authority.
c. Such a man knows where he's going and what he wants out of life.
d. The opposite sex feels secure in the presence of a man with this brand of confidence.
4. Has purpose, drive and initiative.
a. He has mapped out his life and has established clear-cut goals — he knows where he's headed.
b. With tenacity and vigor, he pushes himself to overcome all obstacles.
c. He does not allow himself to become discouraged, distracted or defeated — "can't" and "impossible" are not a part of his normal vocabulary.
d. His total outlook is positive and upbeat and you sense that you're in the presence of a "winner" — a man with a destiny.
5. Is intelligent and decisive.
a. He has learned how to concentrate and use his mind to its fullest capacity.
b. He cuts through trivia and gets down to essentials — he doesn't procrastinate.
c. This kind of leader tackles a problem head-on and doesn't succumb to frustration and despair.
d. He is alert to opportunity and new doors God may open.
e. He's not afraid to step out in faith and take a calculated risk.
f. The ability to stand up under pressure and make life and death decisions is a distinct masculine trait.
6. Practices self-control.
a. He disciplines his body, controls his time and dictates to circumstances.
b. He is tough on himself and has his life totally in hand.
c. Self-discipline is a hallmark.
d. "No" is one of his most powerful command words.
e. He has a clear set of priorities and puts first things first.
7. Is emotionally mature .
a. He controls his temper, disciplines his moods and monitors his overall attitude.
b. He can roll with the punches and bounce back from defeat.
c. This type of leader doesn't need the constant reassurance, acceptance or recognition of people.
d. He can receive criticism without it destroying him.
e. He doesn't whine, feel sorry for himself or seek the sympathy of others when his
purposes have been thwarted.
f. You will rarely hear him complain about his aches and pains or general health.
8. Is law abiding, conscientious and responsible.
a. He doesn't try to outsmart the IRS or rip off his neighbor in a business deal.
b. He is upright, sincere and always tells the truth.
c. He is dependable — his word is his bond.
d. Being a responsible citizen, he promptly submits to the laws of the land and pays his bills on time.
e. In all areas of human relations, he fears God and reflects sterling character.
9. Uses common sense and good judgment.
a. He possesses an inner sense of knowing when to speak and how to act in almost every situation.
b. Has an ability to size up a problem and cut through to the answer.
c. He is big-minded, thinks long range and is able to grasp the best course of action when making decisions.
d. Has developed a sense of insight, wisdom and sound-mindedness.
e. This is particularly true in the area of human relations — tactful, diplomatic and understanding.
10. Takes charge when necessary.
a. This does not mean he is to usurp another's authority.
b. It does mean he is to have presence of mind in a difficult situation when an appointed leader is not present.
c. He feels a sense of responsibility guided by God's Spirit to uphold the proper standards.
d. He keeps his cool and doesn't fold in a crisis situation.
e. In dating he always takes the lead and demonstrates by his confident manner that he's a protector and a haven of trust.
11. Maintains vigor, vitality and good health.
a. Keeps physically fit.
b. He watches his diet — avoids overeating and resists junk foods.
c. He has a regular program of exercise and gets sufficient sleep.
d. Knowing that stress destroys good health and peace of mind, he strives to maintain a positive mental attitude.
e. Masculinity does not mean developing big muscles, but it does involve maintaining good health.
12. Demonstrates self-respect.
a. Godly self-esteem is a trademark of true masculinity.
b. A leader must have it if he's to win the respect of others.
c. Self-respect is a product of living a clean and wholesome life.
d. It's a mature and inner confidence that comes from integrity and a clear conscience.
e. He displays an air of control and authority over his life and will have little trouble mastering any situation he may encounter.
f. Thus, others will look up to him and will place credence in his character.
IX. A WOMAN'S VIEW OF TRUE MASCULINITY.
A. What makes a man "masculine" to a woman?
B. What is it that makes him a leader and a "real" man?
C. What does her nature cry out for from him?
D. Listed below are some of the qualities that women look for and desire in their male counterparts.
1. A woman was created to want and need a leader.
a. First and foremost she wants him to be deeply converted.
b. To put God first and remind her to do likewise.
c. She wants him to be the head — to know his role and accept it.
d. To take charge because he knows he's innately responsible for her welfare.
e. The masculine leader then is one she can trust, respect and look up to.
f. When he relinquishes his position as head, he causes her to become independent and
aggressive — a role that buries her femininity and makes her miserable.
2. She wants a man that can control her.
a. A woman cannot respect a man that she can dominate and wrap around her little finger.
b. Nor does she respect the man who tries to win her over by groveling at her feet and meekly following her lead.
c. A woman will push until she finds her boundaries.
d. The reason: She wants to know whether she can feel safe and secure with him.
e. She admires a man who will say, "O. K. Lady, that's as far as you go. "
f. A woman will take control and lead if the man doesn't, but be frustrated and unfeminine in doing it.
3. She wants a man who's sensitive to her feelings. (attention guys!)
a. She wants him to realize that she's more delicate and fragile than he and tires more easily.
b. That she's more emotional and can be crushed by harsh correction.
c. That she needs encouragement, appreciation and tender understanding.
d. To be aware that she's given her whole life as his helpmate and needs his reassurance and acceptance.
e. To realize her pressures are just as real and difficult to bear as his, and therefore he should be patient, loving and kind.
4. She finds certain physical qualities masculine.
a. She wants him to look like a man.
b. His hair should not be too long — a borderline haircut shows a borderline attitude.
c. His pants should not fit too tightly, nor his shirt be half unbuttoned.
d. He should have straight shoulders, a straight back, and be physically fit.
e. His voice should be lower and stronger.
f. His body movements should be distinctly masculine — not prissy, delicate or dainty.
g. He should be careful of hygiene, body odor and personal appearance.
5. She wants him to be tough and rugged.
a. A fragile, weak man is unappealing.
b. She is repulsed by tender hands, manicured fingernails and a frail body.
c. The kind of man she loves doesn't mind getting grease on his hands or splinters in his fingers.
d. He can play the role of a mechanic, carpenter, handyman, etc.
e. He doesn't shy away from hard work or difficult tasks — but tackles them head-on with confidence and gusto.
f. He's not to be cruel and abusive, but to be master over his life and circumstances.
g. Strength — physical, mental and spiritual — should characterize his total personality.
6. She admires a man with confidence and inner strength.
a. A woman cannot respect a man who whines, moans and complains about his bad breaks in life.
b. He should carry himself as a man with pride — a confidence based on God, not on vanity or ego.
c. He's a kind of man who walks with authority and purpose.
d. He's aggressive and forceful, yet gentle and willing to listen.
e. In a woman's eyes, inner strength is a major ingredient of masculinity.
7. She wants him to be responsible and protective of her.
a. To look after her safety and welfare.
b. To do little things to let her know he cares — opens the door for her, keeps her car in good repair, does the chores without being asked.
c. He gives counsel and guidance in helping her to make right decisions.
d. To take the lead in handling such problems as bill collectors, door-to-door salesman, and serious conflicts with the children.
e. This type of man is a real gentleman and shows his love and affection in a thousand little ways.
f. NOTE: In a dating situation, a God-fearing man will never try to seduce a woman or
cause her to engage in a wrestling match to fight him off. When he gets too physical,
her respect for him plummets.
8. She wants him to lead her toward God's Kingdom.
a. To be a tower of strength she can lean on and example she can follow.
b. She wants him to correct her in love and to encourage her to develop her full potential.
c. She needs his support in her role as wife and mother.
d. She wants him to keep her in line and not let her frustrations get out of control.
e. The kind of man she greatly respects is one who radiates the qualities of God's Spirit, even though she may have no romantic interest in him whatsoever.
f. In the final analysis, God holds the husband responsible for the spiritual character of his home.
X. A BRIEF DESCRIPTION FROM A WOMAN.
"To be a man is a role. It is a position given by God. 'The head of every man is Christ; and the head of every woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God' (I Cor. 11:3). This position is given by God for a purpose and a function. When a man fills this role, he becomes masculine. The more completely he fills this role, the more masculine qualities he'll develop. If he allows a woman to dominate him (or if he is the type who would), he loses his masculinity.
"'Your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you' (Gen. 3:16). A woman looks for this leadership; it's the key to what she finds masculine. All the traits, qualities, and definitions of true masculinity create within her a desire to respond, to be led, to be the helpmate God designed her to be.”
XI. FINALLY, IT BEHOOVES US AS MEN IN GOD'S CHURCH TO REASSERT OURSELVES AS GOD-FEARING LEADERS.
A. To get back to the faith once delivered.
B. To recapture the great role and purpose that God intended for man to play from the beginning.
C. To launch on a personal campaign of deep study and prayer in a renewed quest for manhood and leadership.
XII. WHAT, THEN, IS TRUE MASCULINITY?
A. It is taking on the life, nature and character of God and Jesus Christ.
B. Let's re-dedicate our lives to this end.
C. Let's become "real" men!
Acknowledgment: Mr. Rice's Notebook